Mile-high party

I hoped. I believed. Barack Obama let me down.

Earlier this summer I donated $5.80 to Obama’s campaign. Those of you who’ve had the pleasure of reading my columns in the past may wonder why I, a committed conservative Republican, would do such a thing. The reason is that the campaign was giving anyone who donated at least $5 a chance to win a trip to the Democratic National Convention in Denver to meet Obama and watch his Thursday night speech in person.

Oh, how I would have loved to have been in attendance at the convention, an undercover agent of the vast right-wing conspiracy, covertly spreading mischief and reporting back to you, my beloved readers, everything I encountered. I figured five bucks probably wouldn’t swing the election, so I made an online contribution. I donated an extra 80 cents, signifying Ronald Reagan’s 1980 electoral victory. That way, if anyone ever found out about the donation, I could point to that 80 cents to prove that I gave in hopes of attending the DNC, not out of any love for Obama. But for all my hoping and believing, I wasn’t chosen.

So I had to be content watching the convention online Monday night. It actually wasn’t so bad; at least I didn’t have to smell the protesters. Imagine, for about a week, hundreds of far-left wannabe hippies protesting the Democrats for being too centrist, trying to “Recreate ’68.” You know these people can’t smell good. 

Speaking of which, did you hear that Denver decided to limit marijuana enforcement for the convention? They must’ve known that trying to keep the country’s assembled Democrats and their far-left agitators away from pot for four days would be a losing battle. Trying to prevent marijuana use during the DNC is like trying to prevent geeks from attending a Star Wars convention – it just ain’t gonna happen.

The convention itself was pretty bland, as conventions tend to be. Nancy Pelosi gave a yawn-inducing pep talk, taking a break from her recent role of trying to build party unity by bringing Hillary Clinton supporters under control. In an ABC News interview on Sunday, Pelosi encouraged Clinton’s female supporters to “get away from the politics of victim.” Fine advice, but without “the politics of victim” there would be no Democratic Party. Pelosi might as well have asked Clinton’s supporters to avoid tax increases and abortions.

Jimmy Carter appeared on stage but didn’t say anything – an uncharacteristically wise move on the Democrats’ part. Ted Kennedy gave a surprise speech, looking very well, considering his frail health.

Michelle Obama spent much of her 17 minutes at center stage trying to convince her listeners that she loves America. Some of her statements so far this campaign season – including her confession that she felt proud of her country for the first time in her adult life after her husband became a major contender for president  – have led many reasonable observers to wonder what she really thinks about her country.
So can the Democratic leadership inside the convention and the nutty protesters outside remind the country to vote Republican this November? Yes, they can.