The fabled lable

Labels, labels, labels. In terms of relationships, there are about 500 different labels to give each romantic situation you encounter. Some people are afraid of labels, and some people are desperately trying to get a label. Most of the time, you end up falling in between labels and are just plain confused. Instead of communicating with your significant other and talking flat-out about it, here are some basic descriptions of some labeled relationships to help you determine what kind of situation you’re in.\nThe most popular of college relationships, the friends with benefits, provides a consistent hook up without a commitment. But the lines tend to get fuzzy in this one, namely because many friends with benefits weren’t really that close of friends in the first place, and therefore when the hook-ups stop, the friendship does too. And then there is everyone’s worst fear — becoming more attached than the other person. It’s very difficult to keep relations platonic when, well, they’re not platonic. Are you allowed to act like a couple in front of other people? When is it appropriate to be just friends? And when is it appropriate to be friends with benefits? Friends with benefits will inherently fail because if you enjoy the person’s company enough to be friends, and you think the person is attractive enough to sleep with, you have no reason not to be in a relationship other than a fear of intimacy or a need to sleep around with multiple people. \nThen there is the ex. The ex is more of a forced label than anything else. Strictly speaking, the relationship with the ex is very special in that it is always messy and never predictable. Sometimes you keep hooking up after you break up — and then have you reverted back to friends with benefits? Sometimes you only talk trash about them and never see them again, but that doesn’t mean that you still don’t hold some ties to them. There are endless possibilities with exes. They want you back. You want them back. They owe you money. You have their clothes; etc, etc. The “ex” label may in fact be the hardest to define, as well as the most frustrating to deal with.\nAnd then there is the ultimate label, the label of all labels — boyfriend and girlfriend. This is so important that it goes right at the top of your Facebook page, practically under your name. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend at this age impacts your life in many important ways. You will not have as much fun at parties, since you can’t drunkenly flirt anymore, you will be separated from your single friends and perhaps most importantly, you will get poked much less on Facebook. But the label could be worth it because you’ll actually have someone who is obligated to be interested in your life and someone to consistently split the cost of meals with.\nWhatever relationship you are in, and there are many more (one-night stands, open relationships, etc.), the main point is that there are countless mixed messages about what kind of label to give your situation. The only way to really know is to have “the talk” with the other person you’re involved with, as horrifying as it may sound.