The Bush ‘lybaree’

It seems a president we all would like to forget will now live forever. Well, he’ll always be alive in Texas, anyway.\nOfficials at Southern Methodist University in Dallas announced on Feb. 22 they will build a presidential library honoring the “life, works, papers and policies” of someone dear to our proud American souls – none other than good old George W. Bush. I know. This was a shock to me, too. “George Bush” and “library” aren’t exactly complementary terms to me, but what can you do? Unfortunately, “brilliant speeches” was not included in the list of things The New York Times reported the library, which is set to be completed in five years, would house. That’s a shame. I would make a road trip to SMU just to hear a tribute to the past eight years of Bushisms. The library – sadly without the Bushims – will be constructed to “celebrate this great president, celebrate his accomplishments.” Ah, that’s right – his great accomplishments. Sure, No Child Left Behind has been a big hit. And Social Security? Oh, don’t worry if that vanishes. We won’t be needing that, anyway. Now, I’m not going to be a total jerk and say that another president would have reacted to the Sept. 11 attacks any better, but I am obligated to take a second and do what any good Democrat would: “Dear Mr. Bush, you tanked this one. You suck.” There, I did my part.\nSome faculty members have opposed the construction of this Bush library from the start, worrying that a building honoring him combined with the “close identification” the university already has with the Bush administration’s policies could be seen as “highly partisan.” I don’t know that being viewed as partisan should be the main concern here – they’re constructing a shrine in honor of the most inarticulate (and some would argue incompetent) president in U.S. history. I’d say that’s the problem. But hey, if people are willing to donate $200 million to construct a presidential library in honor of one of our most unpopular presidents, then logic tells me they’re bursting at the seams to donate to causes that actually benefit society. Oh, wait, I forgot logic has a tendency to fail us.\nI’m not just knocking this Bush library idea. All presidential libraries are a waste of money, really. But, hey, if anyone deserves his own showcase, Bush certainly does, right? It’s the least people can do to repay him for eight years of comic relief. He’s the only president to give us an inside look at the presidency – “My job is a decision-making job,” Bush recently said. “And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.” He also proudly took a stand for education in 2000 (before undercutting it with No Child Left Behind in 2001), asking the public to investigate the great question: “Is our children learning?”\nWell, now thees youngens can go to Bush’s lybaree an’ get edukated abowt this grate prezident and all he’s dun for us.