Safety first

In October, the European Parliament approved a proposal by British representative Chris Davies, which advocated including cigarette-style warnings on car advertisements. These warnings, which would cover 20 percent of every ad, are intended to caution consumers about the dangers of carbon emissions. The proposal was approved in a nonbonding vote, and further action has yet to take place on the issue. \nTo me, this is preposterous.\nWhy has further action not yet been taken? I can think of lots of things that consumers need to be warned about on car advertisements.\nFirst and foremost, the dangers of crashing need to be addressed. More than one million people are killed in traffic accidents every year. This is a big deal, and the possibility of death is something that consumers need to be reminded of in ads. A note about the dangers of drinking and driving is also relevant. And, if I may, both of these dangers could be clearly represented by putting a picture of a corpse on all car ads. \nTeenage pregnancy is another issue that warrants space on car advertisements. “Parking” is a favorite pastime of many teenagers who want to get pregnant. It is up to the car manufactures to warn parents of this danger before selling them cars for their teens. \nIt is important to note that having a car can result in lost keys. The glow of a new car and the accompanying smell of fresh leather seats sometimes pushes this factor out of many consumers’ minds, but this equals loss of time and a lowered standard of living. It is the car companies’ responsibility to make sure we consumers are aware of this danger when selling to us. How else are we supposed to know? \nAnd you know what else? Sometimes people with not-so-nice cars feel really bad about themselves when they see people with nice, shiny sports cars driving around. It can really lower somebody’s self-esteem. It’s only fair to us consumers that car companies include a warning about this on their ads. It’s really important because if they don’t, somebody might have a sad day or be unable to turn their frown upside-down. \nAnd I don’t know about you, but frankly I can’t be warned enough about skin cancer. I will take every reminder I can get to wear sunscreen, so I say lets throw them on automobile ads as well. Seat belts, too. \nAnd also, there was this one time in high school when I left the top down on my convertible while I went to lacrosse practice, and when I came back to the parking lot afterward, there were rubber bands all over the inside of my car. At first I was like, “Jackpot!” But then I thought, “Hey, I really wasn’t expecting that. It really should have been on the advertisement when I bought my car. I would like it if the European Parliament would put it on future advertisements.”\nThat should do it. I think my recommendations, if taken into effect, will make car ads the most effective they’ve ever been.