Disney vs. Porn

The difference between the female and male mind is not as difficult to figure out as everyone makes it out to be. The answer does not lie in “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” or in any “Sex and the City” rerun. \nThe answer is this: Disney vs. Porn. \nMy whole adult life, I’ve been fairly accurate in defining individuals based on their tastes. It’s not a matter of prejudice, but of understanding. Little girls grow up watching Disney cartoons where princesses find their Prince Charming and live happily ever after. When little girls grow up, their Disney dreams evolve into romantic comedies, McDreamies and sappy love songs. And once little boys hit puberty, they discover the magical world of porn. \nBoth the Disney and porn franchises create false fantasies that will never come true. While the business of Disney is struggling, the porno industry, specifically in terms of the Internet, is only rising. This doesn’t mean women should concede to men’s porno dreams, or that men should look to become Prince Charming. The sooner everyone can acknowledge their fantasies are far from reality, the sooner the sexes might actually reach an understanding. It’s all about a sense of compromise between the two – a hope to establish a mutually beneficial relationship. \nBut that’s the hard part. Obviously, the resolution does not lay in Disney porn, or Jenna Jameson starring as the next Disney princess. \nNoted journalist and cultural critic Ellen Willis best explained this potential compromise when she described the difference between sex for men and women. After all, she was first to coin the term “pro-sex feminism,” two concepts that were previously contradictory. Willis stated there are two kinds of sex: classical and baroque. Classical is romantic, emotional and focused on a particular person. Baroque is playful, anonymous and “focused on sensation for sensation’s sake.” Classical is stereotypically feminine while Baroque is stereotypically male. She concluded that “The classical mentality taken to an extreme is sentimental and finally puritanical; the baroque mentality taken to an extreme is pornographic and finally obscene. Ideally, a sexual relation ought to create a satisfying tension between the two modes (a baroque idea, particularly if the tension is ironic) or else blend them so well that the distinction disappears (a classical aspiration).” \nI suppose there are a few lucky ones out there who get to live out their dreams of real-life fairy tales and erotica. Hugh Hefner’s got it pretty good, and millions of women pine for Prince Harry and Prince William. But idealistic souls too often face harsh disappointment. They can choose to keep up the optimism, settle for pessimism, or recognize reality. The latter always seems to be the hardest, even though it is the most efficient.