Go, Eddy

The New Year just rang in, and with it came millions of resolutions that, let’s face it, probably won’t be accomplished. The Democratic presidential candidates recently shared their resolutions for 2008, all of them staying true to the evasive politician way. Barack Obama wants to be a better father, Joe Biden vowed to “remember where (he) came from” and Hillary Clinton enlarged the “I’m-a-vain-and-selfish-woman-trying-to-be-president” target on her back by saying one of her main goals is to exercise more. Immigration? Iraq? Poverty? Well those are on my list, but first I’ve gotta tone my big-ass thighs. Please, Hillary.\nJohn Edwards waved his familiar “the-poor-are-always-on-my-mind” campaign flag, as he vowed to remember\neveryday that “somewhere in America\n… a child will go to bed hungry,” a family will rush to the hospital and “beg for health care for their sick child,” and that a father who has supported his family for 30 to 40 years will lose his job. These issues, Edwards claimed, comprise “what’s at stake” in the presidential\nelection. Sure, these statements are dripping with BS. But his rhetoric here elevates a small portion of his platform and why he should be the next Mr. President – other than the fact, of course, that he talks with a slow North Carolina drawl and has hair that could compete with Donald Trump’s.\nEdwards boasts a legitimate and realistic plan to eliminate poverty in the U.S. within 30 years by raising the minimum wage to $9.50 per hour, cutting taxes for low-income workers\nand making housing near schools more affordable.\nThis may mean higher taxes for those in the upper tax bracket, but what’s so bad with helping the less fortunate? Universal health care, something\nthis country desperately needs, is on the top of his agenda if he is elected. Sick of the Iraq war? He plans to “completely withdraw” troops from Iraq within 10 months. Don’t support gay marriage? Neither does Edwards. Elect Edwards, and we will have an administration\ndriven by Christian values but without the imperialist Republican agenda that America has been stuck with for the past eight years.\nSo, if you haven’t made the same old New Year’s resolutions of losing weight, being a better person or drinking\nless, then make some resolutions you can stick to. Resolve to help pull the troops out of Iraq, forge an end to poverty in the U.S., spark the creation of a universal health care system in America and keep gay marriage illegal.\nAll these goals can be accomplished\nwith a vote for Edwards. And if Edwards doesn’t pull out on top of the Democratic race, shoot for the top donkey, unless it’s Hillary. The last thing we need is four more years of a Republican frontman.