Work it out!

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had time to work out since I was on my “prom diet.” Going to the gym is simply out of the question in college. All of us have homework to do, Facebook to check and wine to drink alone in our apartments while watching the “Freaky Friday” remake with Lindsay Lohan.\nIncorporating exercise into one’s daily routine is the only way to maintain a healthy lifestyle in college, and it is easier than most people think.\nMagazines often give descriptions of exercises that are good to do. However, they always require the reader to have “free weights” and often some sort of colorful floor mat. Excuse me? If I had $20 to spare I would own the “Bring It On: All or Nothing” DVD already, and I feel confident that I speak for the entire readership of this publication when I say that. \nI recommend taking a few minutes out of each day to do the motions described in magazines in the comfort of your own home. But please, don’t let gym rat magazine editors let you dictate how you spend your money. Feel free to substitute whatever you have lying around the house for the “necessary” free weights. Alarm clocks, gallons of milk and firearms are just a few examples of things that can be used instead of actual weights. \nSquatting while peeing is also a great “mini workout.” Not only do you avoid sitting in someone else’s pee, but you also exercise your thighs. In order to spread awareness about the growing obesity problem in our great, proud and freedom-loving country of America, I recommend deliberately peeing on toilet seats so others are encouraged to squat as well. \nA big part of a healthy lifestyle is a healthy attitude. You have to believe in yourself if you want to see results. I know that sometimes I wake up in the morning and notice that my abs are inexplicably sore. So you know what I do? I give myself a good old-fashioned pat on the back and acknowledge the fact that I probably slept in a way that exercised my abs. And then I usually have a bowl of cereal. \nIf my unconscious self chooses not to work out my abs overnight, I make a point to do something productive in the morning. Hitting the snooze button repeatedly is a good way to get blood flowing early. You keep raising your arm and lowering it again. It is a healthy, fit way to start the day and I recommend it for everyone.\nFinally, for just the ladies and the “men” who carry messenger bags, I recommend that you carry all your stuff in your bag. Cell phone, planner, framed baby photo, whatever. The more the better. You may wind up with a temporary hunch on one side that some quack doctors will call “scoliosis,” but what you are really doing is strengthening your arms. \nGood work everyone! \nMy final thought is that hopefully my words have inspired you to get out there and work on that firm grip by seizing the day. High five!