Christmas fruitcakes

It’s that time of year again. The turkey has been safely stowed away in the fridge, and the Thanksgiving decorations are rapidly being replaced with Christmas decorations. This can mean only one thing: An all-new season of the war on Christmas has arrived. \nAnd the war on Christmas has a special quality that distinguishes it from all those famous wars that you can find in the history books: It doesn’t really exist. You will hear about it a lot this season. News personalities such as Bill O’Reilly talked about it on an almost daily basis last year, and there is no reason to suspect this year will be different. The main argument O’Reilly and his cohorts put forward is that liberals have declared a “war on Christmas” because the holiday is religious and is not politically correct.\nThis is an interesting idea and would be extremely remarkable – if it were true. But ask yourself one question: Have you ever actually met anyone that was offended by the word “Christmas”? Think back to all the times you have said “Merry Christmas” to someone and that person responded with indignation and outrage. Has this ever happened to you? \nI ask you, readers, because I have never had the strange misfortune of seeing anyone offended by someone saying “Christmas” as opposed to “Happy Holidays.” It appears to me that the only people who are actually offended this holiday season are O’Reilly and his fellow “culture warriors.” And it must be said that these people who profess such indignation toward a made-up “war on Christmas” suffer from what should kindly be described as paranoia. \nIs paranoia too strong a word? \nConsider what O’Reilly has said on the subject. He once linked the war on Christmas to a liberal plot to legalize “narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will and gay marriage.” John Gibson, another Fox News broadcaster (Are you seeing a pattern here?), even wrote a book about the “war,” calling it a “liberal plot to ban the sacred Christian holiday.” Usually such outlandish conspiracy theories come from bearded, 40-year-old UFO geeks living in their moms’ basements.\nTo add to all this, the organization Liberty Counsel has just put out a list of “nice” and “naughty” stores. That list encourages Christians to shop at certain stores and not at others. How does Liberty Counsel do this? Perhaps they want to label stores to separate those “naughty stores” that use unfair labor practices from the “nice stores” that use their wealth to give back to their communities? As a Christian organization, these issues must surely be of great importance? \nHaha, of course not! Liberty Counsel labeled the stores “nice” that specifically use the word “Christmas” in advertising and classified the stores that didn’t as “naughty.” You heard it right; if a store does not use the word “Christmas” in its advertisements, the Liberty Counsel is asking you to kindly boycott it. I’m sure Jesus would be proud.