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A freshman to-do list:\n1. Buy shower sandals. Lord knows what is on all of your neighbors’ feet. Also, as the year wears on, various couples will have sex in the dorm showers. Think about what you’re stepping in.\n2. Get Facebook. If you don’t already have Facebook, you’re uncool. There’s nothing worse than being uncool as soon as you get into college. Get Facebook. Then I might talk to you.\n3. Party. Early and often. You’ll never have the opportunity to meet people like you will during the following four years … and most everyone meets at parties. If you forget those people you meet, it’s okay. That just means it was a good party.\n4. Stay up late with friends. You can go to class bleary-eyed, but the experience of having good times with good people is absolutely necessary. You say your friend wants to watch a movie at 4 a.m.? I say pop some popcorn and let the film roll.\n5. Use meal points excessively. You have to buy them and you probably won’t spend them all anyway. This is just one of the many ways that IU will stiff you over the next few years, so get used to it. I recommend the cafeteria in Read: awesome food and all you can eat.\n6. Party. Just wanted to make sure you remembered that one.\n7. Throw your inhibitions to the wind (complete in tandem with tasks 3 and 6). You know all those things that old people look back on and say “I was young and stupid?” Guess what? You’re young and stupid. Have fun.\n8. Go to class. I know that one sounds kind of lame, but you already paid for them so you might as well. Where else are you going to find acquaintances to invite to your parties?\n9. Give your RAs a hard time. They signed up for it. Make sure they’re fulfilling their duties. If an RA doesn’t come into your room to tell you to turn down your music at least 10 times during the first eight weeks, you aren’t doing your job. Remember, if you follow all the rules, you miss out on all the fun.\n10. Go to the IU Health Center. Free condoms.\n11. ALWAYS USE SAID \nCONDOMS.\n12. Take naps. These will be essential for college survival, especially if you complete task 4. Learn to love wasted afternoons and to have great nights.\n13. Procrastinate. Not the best policy maybe, but you’re going to do it anyway, so you might as well be prepared for all-night study sessions before exams. Make sure you find out where you can get coffee at any hour.\n14. Sleep naked. The dorms are hot, you can trust me. Doing this one in pairs can be fun.\n15. Party. I can’t say this one enough, so remember it. If you can’t find a party to go to, throw your own party. Do it.