Celebrity slam

What do Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Drew Carey, Britney Spears, Usher and Ja Rule have in common? \nIt’s not drugs, sex and money, as one would immediately think. They are all in the entertainment news for various reasons.\nSince the entertainment world is swarming with multiple news stories, and because I didn’t really want to write the same story I wrote about Paris Hilton for Lohan, I decided to just comment on a potpourri of news stories.\nSo lets get crack-a-lackin’.\nEvery time I hear that Amy Winehouse song I think of Lohan. “They try to make me go to rehab, but I won’t go, go, go.” But she might have to go, go, go to jail because of her DUI charges. She’s following in the footsteps of Paris, except Lohan’s got a Coke addiction. I think Paris might have a Pepsi addiction, but I have no conclusive evidence on that.\nSpeaking of going to jail, Nicole Richie is going to jail for a whopping four days. That’s 96 hours and 12 meals, only two of which she will eat.\nWho would have thought that the Simple Life could have actually filmed a Prison Edition?\nCome ooooooonnnnn down!\nDrew Carey will become the new Bob Barker when he takes over “The Price is Right.” He should do well since he’s twice the man Barker is – literally. But I seriously wish him the best because he’s got impossible shoes to fill, and I hope he succeeds. Maybe this job will help his movie career. “Happy Gilmore 2”? I can dream, can’t I?\nSpeaking of dreaming, Britney Spears is still in the middle of her nightmare. Her bodyguard body slammed a member of the paparazzi in Vegas. \nDoes anyone remember the good old days when we all thought Britney was going to be the one? I never thought I would be able to say that Christina Aguilera has turned out to be the good girl of the two. \n“Hey there, Delilah. What’s it like in New York City?” \nUsher’s wedding was called off. And to think you thought you got it bad. She must not have been his boo.\nHow about Ja Rule, though? He was arrested for possession of a firearm. But what was more astonishing was that the police report claimed that a suspect who wasn’t caught flushed seven pounds of marijuana down the toilet. My friend in the business told me that seven pounds would cost roughly 25 to 30 grand. That’s murdaaaaa!\n“He must have money in the bank. Shorty, what you think about that?”\nI’ll tell you what I think. I think that toilet is going to cough up some fluids after consuming that much weed.\nBut don’t worry. \n“You can stand under my umbrella.”