Everybody’s doing it

Does anything make you feel more like an idiot than falling for a gimmick? Surely not, and a little incident the other night reminded me of this.\nMy roommate Seth pointed out to me that the new Pop-Tart boxes suggest sticking the pair of foil-wrapped pastries in the freezer for 20 minutes to enjoy a frozen toaster pastry (I’m going to just leave that little oxymoron alone).\nNow, Seth and I debated for a while whether this was really a good idea. I mean, surely no bad could come of it, but wouldn’t we just have a colder, harder version of the same Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tart?\nThe box made big claims, though, saying “Frozen Pop-Tarts make a crazy good dessert or a chewy chilly treat.” Crazy good? I mean, when’s the last time you heard something described as “crazy good”? \nGreat? Sure. Sweet? Yes. Fly? Of course. But crazy good?\nSo, needless to say, we decided to freeze the Pop-Tarts and each try one. You know what it tasted like? That’s right, a colder, harder version of the same old Pop-Tart. \nNot that there’s anything wrong with that, but to use such strong verbiage as “crazy good” just seems wrong. I mean, even Avril Lavigne’s new song isn’t being called crazy good, and I think we can all agree that it’ll be a pretty big shock if we don’t see her at the Grammy’s next year.\nAnyway, this whole Pop-Tart thing got me to thinking about other gimmicks that I’ve bought into in the past. The first one that came to mind was of course flossing. No, I’m kidding. Kind of.\nBut what I really got to thinking about was those dumb ads on TV for the daily jokes sent to your phone. You know the ones they show on MTV with the creepy computer-generated cartoons laughing.\nEver read the fine print? It’s a subscription that costs $1 a day. Those better be some “crazy good” jokes. I mean, have you ever heard even a single joke that was worth a dollar? (I understand it’s hard to put a price tag on a joke. But I for one don’t think I’ve ever heard a joke that valuable.)\nAnd then can you imagine telling that joke? You walk into class and casually lean over to the cute girl next to you, whom you haven’t gotten the nerve quite yet to talk to, and say, “Hey, have you heard the one about the goose and the train?”\nShe smiles back politely (there may even be a hint of flirtation in her eye) and you know that dollar was worth it. Then, sometime while reading the joke off your cell phone’s screen, it all goes to hell.\nFoiled again.\nDon’t worry too much about it. Everyone has his or her weak moments (Beanie Babies, Tamagotchi, etc.). And you know what I say?\nMay he who has never fallen for a gimmick cast the first stone.