No smoking signs

This just in: President Herbert cares about our health. So much so, in fact, that he has vowed universal health care for all students (including that elusive dental coverage for graduate students), healthier food in the residence halls and complimentary psychological counseling and services to help stave off seasonal affective disorder.\nAll above is certainly not true -- it's an example of poignant irony. In reality, the way President Herbert has decided to show his concern for student health is by decreeing that we will no longer be allowed to smoke on campus. Apparently we're mature enough to pursue higher education, manage our finances and negotiate careers, but not mature enough to merit autonomy over our bodies. \nNot only is the explanation for the ban hypocritical on account of how little this administration has considered student well-being in policy decisions, it's also logistically ridiculous. As has been articulated by myriad naysayers, the "30-foot rule" preventing smoking within 30 feet of campus buildings has been an utter failure in enforcement. \nHow could the University possibly enforce an all-out ban? And would the substantial financial investment necessary be worth it?\nYes, smoking bans have been seemingly successful at the tiny campuses of IUPUI and IU-East Richmond. But IU Bloomington is a residential campus, a different monster. Freshmen are required to live on campus, and as legal adults at a state-run institution, how can that requirement be reconciled with a ban on smoking? The liberty to choose where to live has already been removed. It is not right that students' right to smoke 30 feet away from residential buildings be taken away, too.\nAside from logistical lunacy and laughable assertions of concern for our health, there is also a question of whether, at a public institution, the administration has a right to that much presence in our personal lives. Everyone knows that prolonged smoking is directly linked to awful health problems like cancers of various sorts, heart disease, stroke, diabetes and general breakdown of the body systems. It's expensive and makes the smoker's clothes and body smell less than appealing. Yes, we all know that. Thank you.\nNicotine is a powerful stimulant, but all people have a legally protected choice to consume it if they are of age. Because some evidence linking secondhand smoke to diseases in the casual passerby has been found to be inconclusive due to biased research methods, the University has no business restricting that choice.\nPresident Herbert: The message we're getting from you is not that you care about our health, but that you are being a "helicopter parent" who hasn't earned the position. If you really want to make your mark and do something in your short time left here to leave a lasting influence on IU, try reaching out and making changes for the common good.\nThe smoking ban will just be a thorn in the side of smokers, as well as an annoyance to your successor and University employees, who will be left behind to enforce old policies.