The Queen's American

Every once in a while there are those bafflingly egotistical people who think they can will things into existence (or nonexistence). \nThere is a cuckoo family from England, the Bates, that claims a man-made platform off the coast of the United Kingdom is its own country called Sealand. Then there was L.L. Zamenhof, who created and declared Esperanto the new international language. And who can forget George "Dubya" Bush's insistence that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction?\nThe latest installation of self-promoting nutcases with no better way to spend their time is the public relations staff at Lake Superior State University in Sault St. Marie, Mich. \nThese guys have published the 32nd annual "List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use, and General Uselessness." The fact that some PR department in Michigan doesn't really have the authority to deem words misused, overused or useless prior to banishing them from a language aside -- who refers to anything as "The Queen's English" anymore? \nThis is America, damn it! We speak American here! \nBut if they're going to call it the Queen's English, someone should point this out: Dude, you're not the Queen. You're the public-relations staff at some school with a goofy name that nobody has heard of. So obviously you can't banish words from the Queen's English. \nI'm guessing if anybody has the authority to banish words, the Queen probably has that authority. Or maybe not. \nI mean, academic researchers all over the world have contributed to society by spending countless hours researching anything and everything from disabilities to international economic policy. \nBut how does this department choose to spend its time? By sifting through 4,500 submissions from people all over the world and whittling them down to the final 16 words, terms and cliches that deserve to be exiled always and forever from the fine English language. \nAmong the accused is the word "awesome" because it's overused; "we're pregnant," when uttered by the male partner of a pregnant woman; and celebrity name combinations like TomKat and Brangelina. \nSure, "awesome" is an obviously overused word, and it's downright stupid for a guy to declare that "we're pregnant," and "TomKat" and "Brangelina" are incredibly annoying. But honestly, who cares?\nWhat impact could this dorky little list possibly have on anybody outside of the 4,500 bored "rhetoric police" who decided to submit words to this PR staff? \nWhat's even more baffling is this is the 32nd year they've done this. Is this list really all that popular? It seems doubtful to me. I can't believe that somebody is paying these people to sit together and compile worthless lists that have little or no impact that I'm aware of. \nThe PR department at Lake Superior State University should consider doing something more productive with its time, like making sure people know the school exists or something "awesome" like that.