Shameful 45 minutes

Every Tuesday and Thursday I wake up at 8:45 a.m. and hop in the shower. After drying myself and putting on the first piece of clothing that falls off the hanger, I either spend the next 15 minutes preparing for an upcoming quiz or debating with myself if I should even go to class or if I'm a lost cause. Most of the time, I decide to go to school and arrive on time for my 9:30 a.m. class. For those of you who can perform mathematics, you'll see that the whole process takes about 45 minutes.\nLast time I checked, I am only one man and that decision affected only me. Yet according to Indiana Daily Student reports, it took that same 45 minutes for the IU Student Association to debate and decide on new resolutions to change the election process, beginning this year. This decision will affect more than 30,000 students. At this rate, the Roman Empire, centralized in Bloomington, will reach its former glory within the next 30 days. \nIUSA spent an absurdly small amount of time on these resolutions. The following are a few things IUSA could have done with those 45 minutes while delaying its decisions until it had a little more time to deliberate them. \nFirst, it could have played the first two games of a massive beer pong tournament. Beer pong is a wonderful pasttime. Perhaps IUSA should fight for an IU-sponsored beer pong face-off, faculty versus students. It could even get media coverage. Maybe it would make ESPN 8, The Ocho.\nIUSA members also could have used this time to pour a bowl of Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs cereal and sit around in their underwear watching reruns of "Mad TV" while only grunting at the television. I usually dedicate about 45 minutes to this every Saturday. It helps cleanse the ... well, it really doesn't help anything, but it's fun!\nIUSA could cower in a dark corner, avoiding sunlight and wait for an administrator or faculty member to come shake a piece of paper at the members before it reaches out its arm and puts a "rubber stamp" on the document. From what I understand, this seems to be an IUSA-supported way of dealing with matters. My only fear of this solution is that the members might be in that corner for more than 45 minutes, perhaps long enough for its members, along with student representation, to starve to death. This is no double standard. The IUSA has wonderfully shown that it can both lack action and be hasty when it does take action. Has anyone seen "The 40-Year-Old Virgin?" Yeah, it's kind of like that.\nI know that its members might not want to miss the new episode of "Survivor." However, the members of IUSA surely realize they hold important positions, so they might call a friend and have the show taped. However, if they intend to continue at their current pace, I have but one reminder: Remember, the Roman Coliseum holds just about 50,000, something you should know for its construction Thursday.