Bustin' the drunks

What's worse than seeing those blue and red lights behind you on the highway? Seeing those blue and red lights behind you on the highway, and knowing that the officer in the car is most likely typing on a computer to find out instantaneously if you're an ex-convict, sex offender, drug abuser or (in some cases) all-around good person. And knowing that, in about 10 seconds, the rest of the IU Police Department is going to know that you're one of those things -- or, at the very least, a speeder (which is the same as "sinner" in my book).\nIUPD is getting wired. The department obtained equipment that allows both for instant access over wireless connection to an extensive crime database, and conference calls involving up to six IUPD squad cars. It also allows for text messaging between officers.\nThis is innovative new technology. And, no doubt, it will be put to good use. Imagine the new maneuvering capabilities the police department will now be able to perform. Calls to set up their plan of action, databases to tell them just who (or what) they're dealing with, and the shiny lights of a computer screen to make them feel important. And you know what? I bet they catch that drunken kid every time. \nSerious crime happens in all cities: big, small, Podunk or whatever. But why on earth an extensive increase in technology is necessary for IUPD is beyond me. If the only result of this upgrade is that a few more public intoxication and minor consumption tickets get handed out, I won't be praising the technology. Actually, I'll be pissed off. Why spend a bunch of money on something that has the main goal of punishing people for walking around campus intoxicated (which, correct me if I'm wrong, seems a better decision than DRIVING around campus intoxicated)? Or, maybe, a main goal of busting college kids out to have a good time? Maybe I have IUPD wrong about its goal -- but, goal oriented or not, an increase in those citations will most likely be the result.\nI can see the text messages already. "U wanna bust 4 drunkos?" "No, messin w homeless guy. ttyl." \nAlso, in regards to the possible problem presented on whether the in-car computer will distract officers' driving, IUPD Lt. Jerry Minger said it wouldn't distract more than a cell phone. This makes me feel better. Now I know that when I'm crossing Atwater at 2 a.m. and a cop car doing 75 mph runs my ass over, it wasn't the computer that caused my death ... it was the donut. \nFinally, IUPD hopes that the new wireless connections and computers will be installed by August 23 ... the move-in date for the dorms. This way, IUPD will be prepared to put a damper on the college experience for all those freshmen that get drunk on their first night and step outside the dorms. At least they'll immediately be able to join the Facebook group "Already Got My Drinking Ticket (or Probably Will Soon)." I have. I proudly received my minor consumption on September 21, 2003.