Bleeding Crimson

I can't help but get a little irked every time some Kentucky fan walks up to me in a bar, points to my IU hat (which I am rarely seen without) and says, "I bleed Kentucky blue." Dude, you do not bleed blue. You are not from Jupiter. You did not fly in on a space ship requesting of the first person you saw -- ray gun in hand -- to take you to Tubby Smith (UK \nbasketball coach synonymous with pure evil). That makes you a liar. But I'm not. I bleed crimson. I can prove it. Cut me.\nThat's right. I stand here before you, Natural Light in the left hand, beer bong in the right hand, tobacco juice dripping off my lip into my unkempt facial hair, proud as hell to be a Hoosier. As wide-eyed freshmen make their way into our wonderful city of Bloomington, it's up to us seasoned vets to educate and guide the fresh meat so that they understand what it is to have crimson blood.\nAnd what makes a Hoosier a Hoosier if not the amazing, practiced, ritualized, jubilant, stupendous ability to have one hell of a good time? Isn't it true Hoosier fashion to wake up in the morning before a football game to pursue various educationally detrimental activities and scream obscenities at the other team? Isn't it true Hoosier fashion to postpone homework to chill out with friends, claiming it's better to work under pressure? Isn't it true Hoosier, fashion to listen to a wide array of music, understand the beauty of the little things (like two-hour naps) and generally love life?\nIf you're a freshman still reading this column, you can give yourself a pat on the back. If you had made the inferior decision and ventured to that school in West Lafayette, you would now be learning that a Hoosier is a person who likes gears, soybeans and all around boringness. Instead, be encouraged to pursue a social life, get into a little trouble, be irresponsible as hell and let down Mommy and Daddy your first semester, when you only pull out a 3.1 GPA instead of that promised 4.0. Make friends. Make enemies. Make out. Piss off one professor. Leave another astounded.\nI challenge the current student body to show these newcomers our legacy. Every group has its own little quirk, something that makes it unique from all the rest of us Hoosiers -- yet we are all, nonetheless, Hoosiers indeed. We soon add another class to our numbers, and the more who understand "Hoosierness," the bigger the after party will be.\nWhat really makes a Hoosier? Knowing you're only young once and knowing you're young until you're 50? Knowing that you can have fun without drinking and drinking just the same? \nBeing a Hoosier is quite simple. You just have to bleed crimson. I do. I can prove it. Cut me.