King nothing

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. \nCase in point: The three Burger King-inspired video games on sale for $3.99 each with the purchase of a value meal at participating restaurants.\nEach of the games features a variety of soulless corporate characters for you to play as, including the always creepy King, Whopper Jr. and super model Brooke Burke.\n"Sneak King" is easily the worst of the bunch (quite an accomplishment), and the most terrifying video game since "Resident Evil."\nYou play as The King, complete with perfectly rendered never changing smile, as he wanders around such areas as a construction yard and a random neighborhood surprising people with artery-clogging Burger King goodness.\nThe more surprised people are the more points you score, and the more points you score, the more you die a little bit inside.\nIt's kind of like "Metal Gear Solid," if "Metal Gear Solid" sucked, and instead of shooting terrorists, Snake threw hamburgers at them with a dumb grin on his face.\n"Pocketbike Racer" features the aforementioned cast of Burger King rejects racing miniature motorcycles on a variety of inspired courses, including, and I swear I'm not making this up, the Burger King parking lot.\nIn theory, a "Mario Kart" clone featuring The King and his pals on bikes for a few bucks doesn't sound too bad, but when you quickly come to the realization that the controls were made to emulate the feeling of a Burger King extra value meal sliding down your digestive tract, the appeal quickly wears off.\n"Big Bumpin'" is the least offensive of these three horrible games, featuring some decent last man standing action with bumper cars and a genuinely fun hockey game that can be played over Xbox Live.\nIf you ever see these games sitting on your friend's shelf, they're worth putting in for a few minutes to gawk and say, "My God, someone actually thought this was a good idea!" and then laugh at your friend for buying such garbage, but otherwise they're not worth the effort, even at the bargain price of $3.99 each. You really do get what you pay for.