Badly drawn, also badly written

How do you like your mush? If you said, "slathered in cheese," have I got a treat for you!\nAfter carefully listening to Born in the U.K., I've developed the following postulate: the discography of Damon Gough, a.k.a. Badly Drawn Boy, serves as an indie pop cautionary tale.\nThe formula is simple: Take one "lo-fi baroque indie pop singer-songwriter," mix critical acclaim (2000's The Hour of Bewilderbeast), brush with mainstream success (2002's well-received soundtrack to "About a Boy"), then have him stew for several years turning out disappointing follow-ups. Once he's good and hungry for some success again, have him come out with another album. Now, what do you think it'll sound like?\nIf Born in the U.K. is any guide, the answer is Neil Diamond, Donovan and the dark days of 1970's AM radio pop. Death Cab, Sufjan, Bright Eyes -- consider this a warning to you all!\nSeriously, though, with its oft-massive wall-of-sound production and bland everything-to-everyone lyrics, Born in the U.K. clearly just wants to be loved. But it's that creepy, clinging type of love. The type that calls you "snookums" and wants to buy matching outfits. And, in listening to the album, you can't say you weren't warned: Opening song "Swimming Pool (Pt. 1)" is easily the worst introductory track I've heard this year. \nAccompanied by piano, Gough carries on a spoken-word dialogue with himself, saying things like "And what about the world? ... If the world was a better place some of these bad things wouldn't happen." Then he answers: "Yeah, but there's good things all around, you've just got to look longer and harder to see them sometimes." Upon listening to this, even sword-swallowers would have difficulty suppressing their gag reflex.\nThis is fortunately followed by the album's rather good title track -- a Bowie-influenced little number recounting the last few decades of British history -- but "Diamond Dogs" quickly gives way to "Diamond, Neil" and it's onward to the Born in the U.K.'s low-point: "Welcome to the Overground." Sounding something like an unholy fusion of Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight," the 5th Dimension's "Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In" and the Polyphonic Spree, it could be background music for lobotomy recovery wards.\nThe rest is pretty, but bland -- its strengths being Gough's pleasant voice and arrangements, its weaknesses being a samey-ness across the tracks and some absurdly banal lyrics (on first listen, play "guess the next lyric" and see how many you get right).\nAll in all, boring for us humans. But, hey plants and Starbuckses need music, too.