Shake my what?

Young lady, would you kindly oscillate your hindquarters? This is a request that many artists communicate by combining the words "shake," "ass" and "girl." \nI've been listening to popular music for a while now, and I think I finally understand its message. Women are objects put on Earth to shake it. And "it" can be shaken in various ways -- like a salt shaker, like a dog and my personal favorite, like a Polaroid picture.\nNext time you listen to the radio, count how many songs address females specifically and tell them what to shake, how to shake it, where to shake it, what time of day is best for shaking it and which brand of sports drink will give you the endurance needed for extended shaking.\nSexism is completely palatable as long as it has a good beat. You might even find yours truly singing and dancing along. But one song that always warrants a dial change is "Ms. New Booty" by Bubba Sparxxx. If you're not familiar with the song, I'll just tell you it uses the terms "wigglying," "whip woop" and "jiggling."\nHowever, I commend the use of the more politically correct "Ms." in the title that, unlike Miss or Mrs., does not specify marital status. Who knew someone who spelled his name with three X's could be so forward thinking?\nI have nothing against dancing, not even the "booty" variety. There are plenty of songs about dancing that aren't derogatory toward women. In Aaron Carter's "Shake it," he invites everyone to shake, regardless of gender. But not every artist is like Aaron Carter (tragic, I know).\nLucky for me, I have a very special whistle. I carry it around with me at all times, and its pitch is a frequency that only Tipper Gore can hear.\nBut I don't care if teenagers are taking a cue from Nelly Furtado and acting "promiscuous" (kids will be kids). If girls in grade school are singing along with the Pussycat Dolls, beckoning a gentleman caller to "loosen up their buttons," that's certainly disconcerting but is something parents have had to deal with for decades. The problem is that so many popular lyrics perpetuate inequality among the sexes.\nDoes that sound like feminist rhetoric? (Aw, man. She said "feminist." Is she going to set her bra on fire now? Wait ... That could be cool ...)\nBecause I am female, I apologize for any previous thinking or talking. All that will stop, and I will dance for you now. Any spare change you throw my way is simply an added bonus that comes along with the inner joy I feel from shaking "it" just for you.\nArtistic freedom is a beautiful thing. I love the word "freedom." I've been known to shout it at passing motorists and random strangers on the street. I encourage artists to degrade women if that's what sets their souls aflame.\nBut why are we as a society gobbling down this derogatory musical pie as if it were made by Betty Crocker herself? We don't need songs to remind us hundreds of times per day that inside every woman is a stripper yearning to break free. That's what public service announcements are for.