Seriously, Entourage: Be more like Weeds

What if I were to tell you that Entourage became formulaic and stale in its third season with lame characters like Dom, and Weeds is getting more chronic every episode. Is that something you might be interested in? \nThe pace of Weeds flies by even though they start each episode the second the last episode ends. While Entourage meanders through finding Vince a new project week after week, Weeds' plot lines weave in and out. \nHaving Nancy (a drug dealer), go from never wanting to see a past flame (a DEA agent) again to marrying him in the third episode is a perfect example. Entourage would have drawn it out over a season and a half. It's getting to the point where I look forward to Lucky Louis on Sunday night more than Entourage, which used to be my favorite show. From the great opening song all the way through, Weeds is single-handedly making Showtime worth having. With a new guest star like Elvis Costello singing the "tickie tackie" theme song and an amazing cast, Weeds is smokin'. (Though I do miss the old theme song.) \nWeeds simply makes the audience care about the characters more than Entourage does. When Silas poked a hole in a condom before sleeping with his girlfriend everyone in the room with me gasped. You would have thought Maury had just told my roommate, "Benny -- in the case of little Jamal -- you are NOT the father," the way he was yelling and wildly throwing his arms around. \nThe only time I really cared about the characters in Entourage this season was when Turtle lost Saigon as a rapper. While both are advertised as comedies and Entourage has "Drama," Weeds would be a fascinating show strictly as a drama. \nI wanted Queens Boulevard to kick ass and have Vince be the next Scarface in "Medellin." I understand it's important to have ups and downs, but I never feel like the problems are real. Vince will always be working tight jobs and Ari will always be their agent. The only real problem they had is the fight in Vegas and they glossed over that the next episode like it never happened. Drama should have been too bruised up to shoot his pilot, Vince should have had to own up to his image going down and Eric should have gotten some shit for so poorly managing Vince. \nSpeaking of Eric, what happened to Sloan and why did the writers give up on developing Eric as a character all season? They gave us the ultimate man fantasy, the threesome, and managed to blow that for us. We got no hot scenes and it was so disappointing that I had a dream that night that a hottie wanted a threesome with me and my girlfriend and I turned it down. They ruined the dream.\nBoth shows had recent plots about masturbating, but while Johnny Drama's jerk-off in his trailer was funny, I was kind of blue-balled. Weeds had Andy's immaculate speech to Nancy's son to encourage him to stop masturbating in socks and flush them down the toilet. \nExplaining to his nephew Shane (hard to believe he was the voice of "Nemo") how to get the "Pearl Jam" out of his "Randy Johnson" with the help of a banana peel had me playing that clip all week on On Demand. \nEven without that speech, Andy is the most underrated character on T.V. Seriously, who even knows his name or anything he's been in before Weeds? His recent stint in rabbinical school, where he's basically just there to nail a hot rabbi, has been hilarious. \nEntourage is still a must see half hour, but it's become a caricature of itself. Ari especially. While he has always been larger than life, his "hug it out bitch" and Lloyd gay-bashing has gotten old. \nIt's essential to have cliffhangers, but who honestly believes Ari is done as Vince's agent? He just won the Emmy and is arguably the most popular character. You have to give us a reason to worry he wont be back. It's fun and a solid half hour, but it just doesn't have the pop it once had. \nThe whole Dom character arc was a waste of time and added nothing to the show. Seeing his ass every episode didn't help either. I did love Martin Landau as the senile producer, but still they need to get better guest stars than Seth Green, James Woods, and DJ AM. \nNext year IMDB reported that the hottest name is the biz is slatted for three episodes. That's right: Britney's boy toy K-Fed is taking his immaculate career to the next level. I guess William Hung was busy. \nIt's time for Entourage to regroup, hug it out, and get back to what made them so hot in the first place.