Here's the real antidote: don't waste time with this movie

Who knows what Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor were thinking when they wrote this script. Maybe they were just eager to make their writing and directorial debut and didn't care how good the movie itself was. And I don't know what it is about Jason Statham("Snatch," "The Transporter") always choosing to star in movies with lame plots and lots of action. I don't think he's a bad actor -- I just think he makes bad decisions as to what roles to take.\n"Crank" wastes no time revealing what the movie is going to be about. Statham stars as Chev Chelios, a professional killer, who from the opening scene was injected with a fatal Chinese poison that slows his heart rate down and will eventually cause his heart to stop beating. The only way to stay alive is for Chev to keep his adrenaline going and his heart rate up. Chev spends the whole movie searching for Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), the one who injected him, and hopes to get his revenge before his life is over. But as his death nears, Chev finds himself searching for any kind of adrenaline to keep his heart rate going, from drugs to energy drinks, he also drives through a mall while being chased by cops and holds up a hospital until they give him a drug to get the adrenaline going. Chev even makes his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) have sex with him in the middle of Chinatown surrounded by the public. I'm not going to give the ending away, so if you really want to know if Chev gets his revenge and whether or not he dies, you'll have to see the movie. I'd wait for the DVD. \nStatham is good as Chelios; he is a great action star, but might be typecasting himself with The Transporter films. Amy Smart is not in the movie until it's half over, playing a ditzy blonde who doesn't quite understand that Chev is really going to die until the movie is almost over. You will get a lot of laughs from this movie, believe it or not. Efren Ramirez (Pedro from "Napoleon Dynamite") playing Kaylo, Chev's cross-dressing friend, makes a hilarious cameo.\nRunning at a mere hour and twenty three minutes, the movie seemed a lot longer. The camera angles and shots move so quickly that you end up feeling nauseous or walk out of the movie with a headache. With an "R" rating, from the drug use, violence and sexual conduct (Smart also performs sexual activities on Statham while he is driving to save their lives), this movie is definitely not for an audience younger than thirteen. \nIf you're going to see this movie, I think it's a see-the-movie-one-time kind of movie, so you just have to decide whether you want to waste your money going to the theatre or wait until the movie's released on DVD.