Instant advertising

The other day I was having a nice little chit chat on American Online Instant Messenger, otherwise known as AIM. I noticed something out of the ordinary in my chat window. No, it wasn't "Omg, lol or wtf." There was a little box that said, "Vonage: 1st month free!" \nAIM found a new place for advertisements. \nThis made me realize that the world is full of missed opportunities to inform the public of goods and services they might want to purchase. To put it quite simply, sometimes I look places and I don't see ads. What's up with that? The bottom of shoes, for example, is uncharted ad territory I'd like to see conquered. The next time someone kicks me in the face, I want to learn about a Citibank e-savings account in the process. \nAds are great because they basically mean money for everyone involved. You probably couldn't be reading this newspaper if it weren't for advertising. I think we should embrace advertising and make it a bigger part of our world, like the Internet, oxygen and Oprah. \nOnce something becomes popular, it turns into a great place for advertising. If microscopes were more popular, ads would be put on bacteria. If I were the most popular girl in school, I'm sure Geico would call me up and pay me to wear a gecko suit. \nAccording to AOL, AIM has more than 195 million users. I'd say that's pretty popular. The instant messaging service is free because it's supported by ads. It's no surprise ads are popping up in new places with its wide popularity. \nI think ads should be tacked onto the end of screen names. Why should screen names be lame like KoalaMan12 when they could be advertising with names like SoccerChick85DrinkRedBull or HotStud132WatchHBO? \nBlazing across new ad frontiers doesn't have to stop with AIM. I'm surprised that no one sells wallpaper with ads on it. This floral pattern brought to you by Mentos, the freshmaker. Bubblegum wrappers are another opportunity to advertise. Instead of hilarious Archie comics coming with your gum, why not the number of a good injury lawyer? \nInventions such as Tivo that allow television watchers to fast-forward through commercials make product placement more important than ever these days. Right now, product placement is most commonly found in forums that have a captive audience such as television shows and movies. But perhaps we've overlooked one of the best places to find a captive audience -- the classroom. \nImagine a teacher in front of his wide-eyed pupils explaining the Pythagorean Theorem. He pauses, brushes the sweat from his brow and drinks a nice, label-prominently-displayed, refreshing Fresca. Then back to the lesson. It's all about being creative. \nBefore I die, I'd like to eat an edible ad. But after food, where could advertising possibly go? \nThere are no advertisements in my dreams when I'm sleeping. But if the true advertising pioneers continue the good fight, I'm sure that recurring dream where I play croquette with Paul McCartney and a turtle will be sponsored by \nCareerbuilder.com.