Professor dismisses Valentine's Day

Sentimental Valentine's Day cards, large bouquets of flowers, oversized teddy bears and red heart-shaped containers of chocolates have taken over the shelves of department stores and malls across the country. With television advertisements encouraging the purchase of expensive jewelry or other gifts, some may find it impossible to remain sane during the holiday frenzy. But before consumers rush to buy that necklace on sale or that overpriced bottle of perfume for a girlfriend or crush, one IU professor stresses the importance of finding more creative ways to spend the day.\n"(Valentine's Day) gets worse and worse each year," said Robert Billingham, an associate professor of human development and family studies in the Department of Applied Health Science in the School of HPER. \nDuring his time at IU, Billingham has become interested in the ways young adults -- primarily college students -- form relationships and select mates. According to Billingham, these selections have often led to unrealistic expectations within a couple, making holidays like Valentine's Day a hassle. \nBillingham said he believes that because Valentine's Day is an invented holiday and inevitably has been mass-marketed to the public, the media pressure couples to purchase expensive gifts to express interest in one another. According to Billingham, television advertisements that show couples exchanging gifts send the wrong message. He said jewelry commercials focus on committed relationships and relate gift giving to the depth of the person's love. Purchasing expensive gifts may not be the best approach for individuals in newer relationships, however, and in this instance, splurging on one's significant or even insignificant other can sometimes do more harm than good, he said. \nIn relationships that are in the awkward stage of setting boundaries, Billingham has seen negative and sometimes violent results when a person invests money into a gift the other person might not appreciate. For instance, if the man is attached to the woman when the woman is not quite sure of her feelings, Billingham said the woman may feel uncomfortable or even put off when made the recipient of an expensive gift. Some men feel that expensive gifts should be repaid with sex or affection from the woman, which can also have negative results if the woman feels differently. Instead of worrying about scaring your date away, Billingham suggests more subtle approaches to acknowledging the holiday. \n"I think they should maybe get some Chinese takeout," he said. \nWith the economy more affluent than days past, Billingham said Americans today are more willing to spend money on frivolous gifts instead of saving for the future. He encourages couples to save money and avoid the stress by spending a couple of hours watching a sunset or simply getting away. \n"Put everything on hold and be together," he said.