Baby steps to nowhere

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Secretary of State and angry grimace extraordinaire Condoleezza Rice asked Congress for $85 million last week. Not for the war in Iraq, but for the war in Iran.\nAccording to newspapers across the country, Rice wants to increase pressure on the fundamentalist government in Tehran by throwing outrageous amounts of money at the problem. The Los Angeles Times reported Thursday that "the money would be used to support political opposition and civil society groups in Iran, increase U.S. broadcasting into the country and underwrite more student study in the United States." The estimated breakdown of the 85 million Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers looks something like this: $5 million to scholarships for Iranian students; $5 million for "diplomacy efforts" including a "Persian-language Web site"; $15 million to increase Internet access; and $50 million for a radio station that would broadcast pro-American programs 24 hours a day in Farsi.\nThe plan is resistance to Iran's nuclear program, but also to encourage the Iranian people to throw off the chains of an oppressive theocracy, elect a legitimate government and sell petroleum to America at 20 percent under market. Not surprisingly, the Bush administration is already applauding its own cunning diplomatic strategy; although it should be noted that these are the same people who concluded the best way to encourage democracy and stability in the region was an all-out, balls-t'the-wall bum rush on Baghdad. \nIf the administration had any foresight at all they would recognize how ridiculous its plan is. It begins with $5 million to send Iranian students to American universities, while the 2006 budget slashes scholarships and grant money for research institutions. Educating the world's underprivileged and oppressed is a laudable cause, but I'd like to see more of my tax money than my refund check. \nA combined $20 million will be used to provide Internet access, and promote a government-run Web site espousing what will undoubtedly be interpreted as western propaganda. Iran is one of the few countries better at lying to its citizens than the United States; the Ayatollah will spin this as American imperialism and completely subvert the purpose of the campaign. \nThird-party experts seriously doubt the effectiveness of Rice's plan. Jon Wolfsthal from the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington explained that many Iranians already watch foreign programming via satellite, and as yet, no one has been inspired to take arms against the Ayatollah after watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"\nBadly appropriated funds aside, what really blows me away is the utterly mindless strategy to broadcast pro-American messages in Farsi into Iran. In 1975 the CIA set up a similar program called Radio Free Europe (later Radio Liberty) which broadcast into the Soviet Union. The program continued until the collapse in 1991, but no one has ever claimed re-broadcasting Bob Hope USO shows was what brought down the Reds. \nBesides, what real incentive do Iranians have to shake off the chains of a tyrannical theocracy? The Palestinians tried to elect a government with the legitimacy to speak for the people. When they chose Hamas, we told them to try again.