Yay for Turkey Day

You know what's so great about Thanksgiving? Everything.\nThink about it, a holiday (+50 points) where you get together with family and friends (+/- 5 points, depending on the circumstances), eat a ton of food (+20 points) and feel all sentimental about what you're thankful for (+20 points).\nYou don't have to agree with my point system, but anyway you slice it, Thanksgiving leaves you wanting seconds. \nYou know another great thing about Thanksgiving? It's so gosh darn inclusive. Everyone can celebrate it because everyone has something to be thankful for. Wait, what's that? You're not from the United States? You don't care about a bunch of pilgrims landing on some rock somewhere? Heck, who cares? Carve up some turkey and plop down with the family just because you can.\nHere's the thing though, just as with any holiday, there are some ground rules. What I'm going to do is walk you through some suggestions so that you can get the most out of this joyous holiday.\nFirst, wake up for the parade. I know, I know, I'm in college and I still love parades. But there's just something (dare I say) magical about it. Everyone you watch on TV is just so happy, and that happiness is contagious (contagious in a good way, not like the "itchy rash" the kid next to me in the health center was getting checked out).\nSecond, do not, under any circumstances, look at a picture of a turkey from now until the big day. It'll ruin it for you. Turkeys are ugly, goofy-looking animals that always look like they are on the verge of death by stupidity. Putting a face to the meat is something I don't suggest doing.\nSomething I do suggest doing, however, is taking a picture with a family member's hand up the turkey's backside (you know, stuffing it or whatever). This is a good idea for a number of reasons. First, there is very little he or she can do with a turkey attached to their forearm. Second, no one is above blackmail. Third, how many days in the year does this opportunity present itself? It's all about making the most of your opportunities, people.\nMy next suggestion is to see how many days you can survive on only leftovers. I'm talking breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hey, you've pushed pizza consumption to a whole new level. Why not feast on something good like turkey, yams and stuffing (only stay away from the garlic mashed potatoes for breakfast. That's just nasty).\nDoesn't sound like your thing? You could always try drinking the Thanksgiving line of Jones Soda, a series of soft drinks that taste like any number of Thanksgiving foods. Nothing washes down that turkey like a nice cold glass of ... turkey. Or how about after that family football game outside? Cool off with a cold one. A cold cranberry sauce that is.\nAnyway, the moral of the story is that Thanksgiving is so much more than just a day or a meal. It's a mindset. So hunker down, get together with some people, eat some food and give thanks. \nAnd for goodness sake, watch the parade (+10 points).