A mile high and no way out

I've been on more flights to more places than most people ever will, so I consider myself something of an expert when it comes to air travel. Go on, ask me which carrier's the best.\nTake your pick; they're all ungodly.\nForget airport security and body searches. That bit stopped being funny when the public realized the Bush administration hasn't improved the situation. I'm talking about the actual airlines: cheap as dirt and about as unpleasant. It's no surprise that two weeks ago Independence Air (formally Flyi Inc.) filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, the latest in a list that includes former industry leaders Delta, Northwest and United.\nIn the early days of aviation, passengers paid excessive amounts of money to be transported in obscene luxury -- then air travel got cheap. When things get cheap, they get lousy. \nI'm in four frequent flyer programs, but I've never received a free ticket because one frequent flyer mile is only enough to get you from the security checkpoint to the gate. \nThen you board. Southwest had the brilliant idea to replace assigned seating with priority seating. The earlier you check in, the earlier you board. What this really means is the longer you wait in the check-in line, the longer you'll wait at the gate. Traffic problems? Crowded airport? Tough.\nYour plane will be one of two sizes: too low to stand in or big enough for a first-class section -- either way you're going to hate it. I don't play basketball, but I'm not exactly what you'd call short, which is why the last time I flew ATA, I slammed my head against the on-board TV. Still, nothing's worse than the condescending smiles of first-class passengers as you jam your laptop into the overhead bin while they polish off their third glass of champagne.\nSitting down is the next hurdle. If you've ever fit three people and a load of laundry into the back seat of a Mustang, you have some idea how cramped economy class is on Delta. In order to save money, the airlines squeeze as many seats as they can in a single plane, which is fine if you intend to leave your knees at home.\nThe airlines also don't expect you to have taste buds. For the most part, meals are a thing of the past; you'll be lucky to get ice water if you're flying domestically. But on international flights, they'll give you a menu with fancy typeface that makes the dishes seem more appetizing. The thing is, no amount of frill is going to change asbestos into marinara or make a Ritz cracker dance across my tongue.\nI'll concede that the airlines have had a rough couple of years, but this new trend toward discount airlines like JetBlue and Independence is far more problematic than terrorism or high oil prices. The industry-wide competition drives down ticket prices as low as $29 one-way that passengers flock to because no single carrier sticks out above the rest. It's hard to build customer loyalty when passengers wonder if the unheated cargo hold would be more comfortable than their seat assignment.