Playin' it Shaffe: What is a Hoosier?

To raise awareness (and ticket sales) for Saturday's Homecoming game against Illinois, coach Terry Hoeppner invited Hoosier fans to e-mail him for the chance to give their 12-year-old-and-under son or daughter an exclusive chance to participate in "The Walk" to "The Rock." The contest asked the kids to answer the question, "What is a Hoosier?"\nSo I decided to answer the question to myself. I thought, "Self: What is a Hoosier?" And considering I am a child at heart, I figure that more than qualifies me to submit a response to coach Hep. \nAccording to the dictionary, a Hoosier is a nickname used for a native or resident of Indiana. \nBut really, what is a Hoosier?\n• A Hoosier is someone who thinks IU basketball is as essential as eating. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that the phrase, "Hep Got Me!" is a good thing, and not a concern for the health center.\n• A Hoosier is someone who thinks that laughing at freshmen trying to jump over the fence and into the bar on any given Thursday night is a sport. \n• A Hoosier is someone who thinks New Jersey is a city in New York. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that "Driving down Fee" is not another phrase for a price discount. \n• A Hoosier is someone who will argue that Reggie Miller was a better clutch shooter than Michael Jordan -- and actually believe it. \n• A Hoosier is someone who doesn't mistake excise for exercise. Though both words involve running, the first includes running as fast as you can while hanging on to your fake ID.\n• A Hoosier is someone who still can't believe Vote for Pedro actually won.\n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that Little 500 is a bike race and not an annual gathering of midgets. (I'm sorry: the "vertically challenged.") \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that a Cutter does not necessarily involve a knife. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that "Mike Davis and the NBA" is a punch line for a joke, and not a plausible possibility. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that Briscoe can be called The Disco, and that McNutt can be called, well, let's just say the girls can be quite friendly in McNutt. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows the difference between SPEA and Kelley are the letters "I" and "Q." \nPlease do not take any of these responses to heart. If you want my honest opinion, a Hoosier is someone who embraces all types of cultures in all walks of life, as Bloomington has done for thousands of college students each year, including myself. It is a town where an Italian restaurant sits next to a place that serves Indian cuisine. It is a town where the Hillel Center is sandwiched on greek row. It is a town where Mediterranean meals meet hacky-sacking hippies. If Indiana is the crossroads of America, Bloomington is a train stop that landscapes a peaceful community of equality and diversity.\nSo, what is a Hoosier? It's a lot of things. And whatever that might be, I'm proud to be a part of it.