Mind your manners at Fashion Week

NEW YORK -- Anyone who knows anything about the fashion industry knows that fashion people have a certain way of doing things. We tend to follow social rules not written in any book or pamphlet, but rules that have been passed down to us through years of training.\nThis year at Fashion Week, those social cues were highlighted when everyone received an e-mail titled "Fashion Week Kicks Off with Random Acts of Politeness." The trend was started by Nick Graham, an Englishman and the creator of Joe Boxer, who, I can say from personal experience, is a true gentlemen.\nThe e-mail read, "Be on the lookout for the Random Acts of Politeness team, comprised of 30 handsome men sporting British bowlers and nick(it) suits. The RAP team will open doors, carry packages, hail cabs and dispense tips on the art of politeness to passersby." \nI thought this would be interesting. I wonder how many women know how to behave when a man opens the door for them (always say "thank you"), or when a man hails a cab for her. Being on your Ps and Qs is in style, and other designers followed suit. \nTracy Reese, a designer known for her ultra feminine looks, took inspiration from "The Age of Innocence," a movie adapted by Martin Scorsese (based on a novel by Edith Wharton) about New York love and society and finding your way through the overwhelming maze. It is my favorite movie of all time and I own it on DVD. I would encourage anyone who is interested in fashion to watch it for the costumes, but also for the rules. \nAs models came down the runway in brocade gowns with billowing sleeves in shades of pink and champagne, I couldn't help but notice where fashion is headed. Models showed off their Emily Post posture and pose in rich crème carnation blazers with matching vest and skirts that looked as if they were made of rose petals. Other looks included a vintage white slip with beige lace trim, a buttercup-embellished frock, a citrus peach-tiered tunic with a halter vest and matching skirt with green lace and a peach underlay. As the show went on, the looks became more detail-oriented and romantic. \nIn an age where crude and brash behavior has become glorified, there are many of us who hold fast to the old ways. Manners are back in style as well as knowing how to navigate social cues and drink a glass of champagne. Whenever I take someone to Fashion Week, I always remind them to say please and thank you. This year at the Women's Entertainment magazine stand, one host actually said thank you for saying thank you. In the movie "Age of Innocence," Countess Olenska was an outcast in Old New York, but no one told her. Instead, they accommodated her with the utmost politeness and made sure everyone was comfortable. They even gave her a companion to help her with what can often times feel like a social fog. Rules were enforced by fashion and fashion was also a careful consideration. \nThese rules followed in early 19th-century New York are still alive and well. I feel sorry for people who do not understand them or are completely ignorant of their existence. Social rules matter in the fashion industry. For instance, talking to a man that is romantically interested in you at a show is OK, but only if it leads to a relationship and appearances at parties or other shows. You don't want to appear too available or carefree. If you don't like someone, only badmouth them to your close circle. Other than that, forget his name. Always try to look sophisticated at Bill Blass, Tracy Reese or Ralph Lauren shows, or you will be socially shunned. You can wear white after Labor Day, but only if it looks timeless and elegant. Always sit with your back straight and be as charming as possible. \nThese rules aren't in any book, but I have learned them during a period of time by observation, my mother drilling them into my head or by higher-ups informing me. People always ask how I get into so many shows and I say it's because they know me. Well, it is more than that. It is because they know I say "please" and "thank you." \nI smile even when I have been in line for more than 45 minutes. I am charming and polite, even to the security guards (if you want to get into shows follow that rule), and I don't act as if I am entitled to anything.\nIf you have ever watched or read the "Age of Innocence," you would know part of Countess Olenska's problem in New York is she lived in Europe far too long. She didn't know any social rules, and in New York that equals social death. So, I encourage everyone to smile, save off-handed comments for behind closed doors and always dress for the show. Like in "The Age of Innocence," fashion people have manners. We won't tell your presence is horrid, we don't invite you.