Where are they now?

For this week's column, I decided to do something a little different. I tracked down five sports figures who are remembered not for their heroic feats, but rather for their high-profile meltdowns when the spotlight was shining brightly on them. I thought I should check on their well-being, and to see if they had undergone a sex change, a la Ray Finkle in Ace Ventura. \nMy first destination led me in search of Scott Norwood. Norwood was the Buffalo Bills kicker who missed a game-winning 47-yarder wide right in Super Bowl XXV, allowing the Giants to win the game. Norwood spends his days and nights sitting in an empty, dark room by himself, listening to The Cure continuously, ` Pocket. \nMy next stop was to see former Phillies reliever Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams. Williams, known for his wild fastball, was the Phillies closer in the 1993 World Series. With a 6-5 lead in the bottom of the 9th of Game Six, Williams gave up a three-run homer to Toronto slugger Joe Carter, which won the Series for the defending world champs. Besides his unpredictable heater, Williams was also known for his outrageous mullet. When I caught up with "Wild Thing," the mullet had grown to awesome proportions, with the back nearly touching the floor. Unlike Norwood, Williams was considerably more upbeat. He leads an active life, drinking cheap whiskey, eating Slim Jims, and smashing mailboxes with a baseball bat. Williams was quick to note how happy he was that "they finally made 'The Dukes of Hazzard' into a picture show." \nThe next athlete is former Boston first baseman Bill Buckner. Buckner will forever live in infamy for letting a routine ground ball go between his legs in Game Six of the 1986 World Series against the Mets, allowing the Metropolitans to win the game and force a Game Seven, which the Red Sox lost. Buckner has still not broken free from his depression. In fact, Buckner said the only time he's even remotely happy is when he and three of his best girlfriends huddle up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and watch "Waiting to Exhale" and "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." \nThe next leg of my journey took me to see Trey Junkin. Junkin was the Giants long snapper in the 2002 NFL playoffs, coming out of retirement at 41 specifically for the playoffs. Junkin made two poor snaps on field goal attempts during the game against the 49ers, the second coming on a potential game-winning field goal. The Giants lost the game 39-38. Junkin re-retired and retreated to his country home in Louisiana. Junkin has since spent every day after his infamous snapping incidents by paddling out to the middle of his lake in a canoe, and simply floating there, just staring…staring…staring…staring…staring. \nMy final stop took me to France, where I caught up with golfer Jean Van de Velde. Needing only to record a six on the par four 18th hole at the 1999 British Open in order to secure his victory, Van de Velde amazingly shot a seven after hitting into the bleachers, a creek, and a bunker. He eventually lost a playoff to Scotsman Paul Lawrie. When I finally caught up with him, Van de Velde had become the leader of a peyote cult in southern France. He refused to speak about the '99 British Open, and insisted that I refer to him as "Numi Numi, King of the Tortoise People." After answering all my questions with cryptic questions of his own like "Does the wind have a name?" or "Isn't a six just an upside down nine?", I decided it was time to leave.\nSo there you have it. Hopefully the sad lives of these fallen athletes will make your own life seem a little brighter.