The pains of walking through Madrid

According to IU's "Getting Started on Your Program Abroad" handbook, "'Culture shock' is the term used to describe the disorientation that every student experiences to some degree when spending an extended period in a new culture." \nReading this while at home in Woodridge, Ill., culture shock seemed like a cute little problem related to mispronouncing words.\nI didn't know it would mean being scared of the cafeteria lady. At the Universidad Complutense de Madrid, where I am enrolled as a student for the next four months, the cafeteria is a scary place to be. Smoky and run-down, it is ruled by the slightly surly wait staff who stand guard behind the long bar where you can order a Corona between classes or try your luck with the paella of the day. If it's your turn to order and you hesitate for a second, they skip you and you have to slink to the back of the line and try again. I've ordered successfully only once, and even then they still put mayonnaise on my supposedly vegetarian sub. It's a small event in my day, but the minor frustration only adds to the pile of complaints I have about Spain. \nDon't get me wrong, I love many parts of Madrid and am really glad that I came here. I never imagined that I would be sharing an apartment with two Spanish women, a French woman and two other Americans. I would have never thought that we would be discussing everything from international politics to a love of Johnny Depp -- I guess some things transcend cultural differences. I love buying freshly baked bread from the panadería (bakery) around the corner and strolling through Retiro Park on a Sunday afternoon along with half of Madrid's population. \nAt the same time, it drives me crazy that people really do stroll here, and not just through the park, but wherever their destination might be. For someone used to the move-or-get-out-of-the-way mentality of walking in Chicago, getting anywhere in the city on foot can be a major hassle. Madrileños, or citizens of Madrid, also love stopping abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk to talk with friends or look in a store window, leaving the fast-walking American to stumble her way through the crowd.\nI was venting my frustrations last week to my friend Bernadette, a student in the year-long program. She clued me in on her strategy of adapting to Spanish customs, which really helped her get through the first few months here. She calls it the DMV method, because she uses it back home every time she has to renew her driver's license.\nBefore walking into a potentially stressful situation, she takes a deep breath and thinks to herself, "I know I'm going to stand in a long line with many other disgruntled people, and when I get to the front, I won't have the correct paperwork. The officials will be grouchy and tell me to wait in another very long line. When I get to the front of that line, the equally grouchy person behind the counter will tell me I should have been in the other line all along. As long as I'm aware that all of this will happen, I can keep a smile on my face and deal with it." \nI'm currently using Bernadette's DMV strategy, and it seems to be working. Instead of wanting to knock down all of the slow walkers around me in the Puerta del Sol, I take a deep breath and try to enjoy the walk as a walk and not just as a means of getting somewhere. \nEventually, I'll be able to learn the intricacies of Spanish culture and not feel quite so foreign; if that's possible in a country where at 5-feet-8-inches tall, I tower above almost all of the women and the majority of men. Someday, I'll stride up to the front of the smoky cafeteria and place my order with ease. Until then, I'll keep eating M&Ms out of the vending machine and dreaming of Panera Bread and Mother Bear's.