Two for obesity

One crisp, spring day, when I was walking out of the Union, I heard a shout from some most-enlightened individual that, "Fat people smell!"\nOh wow, thanks for such a witty comment. I'm sure that's something an overweight person like me has never heard before. How hilarious. Next time why don't you try something more creative like, "High cholesterol will kill you by age 50!" or "That dude's got more ass than a drunken frat boy!"\nNormally, I would turn right around and pop him right in the face, but the kid and his friends were obviously clad in clothes from Hot Topic, and I never mess with people who are so anti-conformist that they are totally conformist.\nAnyway, in the spirit of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which we celebrated Monday, I would like to make a call to the University to further expand its diversity agenda. IU should begin by teaching tolerance of those who are big-boned, overweight, broad, heavyset, oversized, pudgy, roly-poly, tubby, husky, festively plump, large or just plain fat.\nWe are all familiar with the struggles that other minorities have gone through: blacks and slavery; Native Americans during colonial times; and, of course, the current hate-mongering toward the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.\nBut what of the struggles of the large individual? We struggle every day to fit in our pants, walk to class without having to stop to catch a breath, and then once we arrive at our destination, we silently pray that the said tight-fitting pants will not split.\nThe life of the husky person is not a pleasant one, from the extra time we must spend in the shower trying to reach our toes to clean them, to our girlfriends always telling us to get the hell off of them late at night because we're just too damn heavy.\nThe university and its "One for Diversity" project teach us to tolerate transsexual Samoan midgets, but where is the call for unity among the fat community?\nI say that one is not enough! In the case of large people everywhere, we need at least two to represent us and, in some cases, three or four! Therefore, I propose that the University begins a "Two for Obesity" program.\nLet us hang banners proclaiming this new directive throughout campus, particularly in the food courts where we large people gather most often, and in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation and at the Student Recreational Sports Complex, where our more fit brothers exercise.\nFurther, just as "One for Diversity" is committed to finding art pieces from multicultural artists and displaying them around campus, let "Two for Obesity" fund art from plump painters to decorate IU.\nSure, there is art around us from several larger talents, and portraits of past fat people who have helped the university, but they aren't there for that purpose. We'll need plaques and more things to bring attention to ourselves. No doubt, by drawing more attention to how different we are we can only bring ourselves closer to others.\nTo paraphrase Dr. King in light of the recent holiday, I have a dream that one day in the state of Indiana there will be a barbecue with little skinny kids and little fat kids who will join hands around a giant picnic table and walk together as brothers and sisters. I have a dream that there will be ribs and hamburgers and fried chicken, and they will all eat together at the table of the Lord, free from prejudice, hate and stores that only sell shirts up to 2XL, all under the banner "Two for Obesity"