Britney Spears for president

What makes a good president? The exact qualifications might be impossible to pinpoint, but I know of someone who would make the perfect commander in chief.\nWe need one true uniting force to bring us together. And that uniting force is international pop superstar Britney Spears.\nShe is as American as apple pie in a sparkly body suit.\nSkeptics might say that Britney can't be president. And they're absolutely right. She's not old enough. Our constitution says the president must be at least 35. She'll have to wait for the election of 2016, but it's never too early to start campaigning.\nOur nation has become as polarized as a water molecule. Britney is the only person who can bridge the gap. Nothing says "we are all Americans" quite like her 2003 single "Me Against the Music."\n"All my people on the floor; Let me see you dance." \nThese are her lyrics. Miss Spears wants nothing more than for everyone to dance the dance of liberty on the giant dance floor of America. \nThis particular pop diddy also features the vocals of Madonna. Britney and Madonna epitomized teamwork when they kissed during a live performance of the song. If two pop divas can come together, why can't Republicans and Democrats do the same?\nBritney's uniting force will spread beyond U.S. borders. She is the key to re-strengthening fast dissolving alliances. \nThese days the United States is not especially popular in world opinion. But you know who is globally popular? Britney Spears, of course.\nHer latest album, a collection of greatest hits, has already gone platinum in all of Europe, not to mention Japan and Australia.\nBritney will become the great mediator between the United States and the rest of the world. Her debut single "... Baby One More Time" is a ballad of mistakes made in foreign policy.\n"Oh baby, baby; I shouldn't have let you go ... When I'm not with you I lose my mind ... Hit me baby one more time."\nBritney is certainly not a doormat for world leaders to walk upon, but she wants to rectify broken bonds. Meetings of the United Nations do not have to end with pouting. Representatives from different countries can meet dressed as provocatively dressed Catholic school girls. Then they can really start to compromise.\nBritney doesn't just care about mainstream issues. She would bring pressing concerns that don't get enough attention to the front burner. \nFor example, our country is rapidly running out of places to store radioactive waste but the government doesn't seem to be making the dilemma a top priority. Britney obviously cares deeply about this problem because she sings an entire song called "Toxic" about the dangers of nuclear waste.\nIf you want to know more about Britney's plans for the country, just listen to her music. "Bombastic Love" is a testament to fiscal responsibility, while "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" echoes her concern about national security.\nShe's obviously dedicated to serving the American people. One of her top singles is entitled "I'm a Slave 4 U."\nIf you're wondering how Britney will handle the ever increasing threat of terrorism, just look at her dance moves. With her flawlessly executed choreography, how could terrorists stand a chance? Britney Spears makes me feel safe.\nShe became the first female artist to have four number one albums in a row. You can't deny that she's a leader.\nShe also maintains a clear vision of the future. When she was a wee one singing at county fairs she knew she wanted to be a star and didn't stop until she became famous. If that's not an example of presidential caliber work ethic then knock me down and call me Suzie.\nThere exists only one pop sensation who can move this country forward. In 2016 say no to bipartisan bickering and yes to Britney Spears.