Only in America

Well, I did the unthinkable. I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving. No, I'm not crazy or mentally disturbed or masochistic. See, I had this theory that all the crazies would start shopping at 6 a.m., so if I waited until 3 p.m., the mall would be psycho-free.\nI was partially right. I didn't have a single encounter with a lady ready to scratch my eyes out over a sweater, but that doesn't mean the mall wasn't packed. It was insane -- there were people everywhere, including parents stupid enough to drag their toddlers along with them.\nBut as I looked around, I couldn't figure out what these hordes of people were buying. What were the retailers selling that everyone just had to have and absolutely couldn't live without?\nNothing. That's right, absolutely nothing. It seems like Americans get consumer-crazy around the holidays, but for what? They buy absolute crap. The best example of this is the mall kiosk.\nOnly during the holidays will you see people selling crystal blocks laser-carved with a snowman design or an authentic head sock guaranteed to keep you warm. Only at Christmas would anyone consider selling bread mixes in hand-sown fabric pouches or a polar bear that dances while singing "Walking in a Winter Wonderland."\nAnd then there's the king of all kiosks: Hickory Farms. They only come out at the holidays and sell the same exact stuff you could buy at the grocery store, but in attractive holiday packaging. But seriously, nothing says the holidays like a 4-pound stick of beef.\nEven major retailers play into Americans' desire to buy worthless crap at Christmas. Only at Christmas could they get away with selling the creme brulee set, complete with four ramekins and a miniature blow torch. At no other time of the year does someone think they need an old-fashioned movie-time popcorn maker. But at Christmas, we can't live without it. I mean, come on, did you really need that portable seven-minute wine chiller you got on sale?\nAmerican consumerism is out of control. Don't get me wrong, I like stuff just as much as the next girl, but I think when our holiday spirit reaches the height of a 7-foot inflatable snowman that we need to take a second look. I mean, do we really need a giant votive candle-holder shaped like a reindeer to express our holiday spirit? I think not.\nAnd the biggest example of American's disregard for logic in the face of Christmas may be Christmas's biggest symbol -- the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. This year's tree is a 71-foot tall, 40-foot wide Norway spruce discovered by helicopter. It's estimated that the tree was about 50 years old and had been used as an indoor Christmas tree before being planted outside to grow to its current stature.\nOK, let's analyze. Someone thought it appropriate to plant a tree after having used it for Christmas only so that it might grow large enough to be cut down. In the spirit of the holidays, the powers that be find it appropriate once a year to cut down a tree that has been gracing the earth for at least a half-century. Instead of enjoying this natural beauty where it is, we find it better to hack it down and import it to a place with no natural wildlife so that it can be enjoyed by everyone. \nI bet the bird living in it enjoyed it where it was.\nI'm not trying to be the Grinch. I'm just suggesting we think before we cut down a 50-year-old tree or maybe that we donate $5 to the Salvation Army before we spend it on the snowman who sings "Jingle Bells"