The future for Kevin Smith fans

Kevin Smith fans, I hope you're reading. It was just three years ago this fall that Kevin came to the IU Auditorium and talked for hours. In fact, the people running the Auditorium had to stop him and kick everybody out. \nI'll never forget the guys that asked Kevin to come back to their house and party, and I'll never forget Jason Mewes making an appearance via Kevin's cell phone. I also seem to have not forgotten Kevin's plan to retire the characters of Jay and Silent Bob, but I'm not in the least bit upset that he's changed his mind. He announced that he has written a script for a "Clerks" sequel.\nI've been a Smith fan since I was 12 or 13 and I watched a rented copy of "Mallrats" at a friend's house. I fell in love (in a totally hetero way) with Brodie. And this seems like a poignant time for reminiscing about my Kevin Smith history. In my dorm room are the two "Mallrats" blueprint posters in which Jay and Silent Bob theoretically destroy the game show set. I saw "Dogma" for the first time in months on the movie channel. All this with the release of both the "Jersey Girl" DVD and the "Clerks X" DVD. And now I hear about a "Clerks" sequel. So many emotions come to me.\nFirst, I was worried. The original "Clerks" has always held a special place for me. It has such a great charm, a nice, "I think I can see her kidneys," kind of charm. It's vulgar, but alluring, like hermaphrodite porn. It's clever and juvenile like, oh what was it, Happy Scrappy. Even the mistakes didn't stop the enjoyment of the film. The man who gives Dante the ticket for selling cigarettes to a little girl asks if Dante was there around four. Well, Julie Dyers' wake was at four, so Randal had to have sold the pack of smokes to the girl at a different time. But I don't want to, "Wax all intellectual," about it. \nSo at first I was worried that Kevin might have lost his touch. "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" was funny, but it's so star-studded and flashy. And then he does "Jersey Girl," which makes sense since he had just had a daughter. I can't blame him for growing up or giving George Carlin a part, but it does make me wonder if Kevin still has some "37" charm left in him. \nThe "Clerks" cartoons weren't terrible, but they were a huge departure from the film, although I did love the "Temple of Doom" spoof. It's always "Raiders of the Lost Ark" with everybody else. \nTake for instance the proposed title for the movie, "The Passion of the Clerks." Kevin says he didn't know about the South Park episode, "The Passion of the Jew," but maybe now that he knows, he'll change it. I know Kevin's thing is pop culture but putting it in the title is a ways away from the original. Take for instance the independent contractor scene. Randal is explaining his revelation about plumbers on the uncompleted Death Star in "Return of the Jedi." A contractor joins the conversation to let Randal know that circumstances such as shady employers make a difference in jobs being taken. All the while, the "Chewbacca, what a wookie," song is playing.\nI'm still unexplainably excited for the news of a sequel. Kevin himself posted a message on the View Askew site assuring fans that the cast will be without cameos and stars. Kevin writes, "This is Dante and Randal's flick all the way." He did say that it would be both black and white and color. To me, another Randal strut is worth some color. \nI may have my doubts -- how do you top Caitlin Bree with a dead guy in the bathroom? -- but I'll be at the theater opening night. If nothing else, it gives me an opportunity to buy a bunch more crap signed by Kevin Smith himself.