Atkins Schmatkins

The Atkins Diet never seemed like such a big deal to me. Some guy wrote a book, said, "Hey, this works," and some people agreed. Then the South Beach Diet came up. Similar principle, similar response. My mom got on it. Great. Then, ever so slowly, the low carbohydrate movement grew. And grew. And grew! Then I came to realize just how deep this ran. When Fazoli's started advertising how they have low carb pasta, something is wrong. \nReally, the low carb craze is just the current symptom of something larger. Ever since Americans stopped hunting for their food and started running the world, their conception of "health" has mutated in a variety of ways: looking for quick fixes, surefire answers, the perfect diet/exercise/pill/machine. We've had Tae Bo, health spas, herbal concoctions, even that thing that jiggles your butt with a big rubber band.\nWhile virtually all health crazes have some seed of reason and truth (except that last one with the jiggling), they ultimately turn into little more than cults without much sensibility, moderation or real thought about what exactly the human body needs. Joe America is just too busy to stop and reason out what is actually good for himself, so he just grabs whatever the talking heads say is the good stuff and goes to his next meeting. \nThe utter cluelessness about the whole affair is truly appalling. Ask someone what's bad for you: "Fat! Carbs! Sugar! Calories!" So what's good for you? "... fiber?" Some people may be able to tell you that there are "good" and "bad" carbohydrates. Ask them how to identify the difference, and you won't get too many correct answers. I stopped in a new low-carb mart back home in Indianapolis and saw some low-carb spaghetti. Does anyone know how you get low-carb spaghetti, an inherently carbful foodstuff? I don't. So I ask the store's owner, not a manager, mind you, but the owner. \n"So, how do they get the carbs out of this?" \n"Well, emmm ... well, sir, I'm not a food scientist, but I can tell you fewer carbs is better for you." \n"A food scientist?" \n"Yes." \n"You mean a dietician?" \nWe're entrusting our body to people like this? How about we use our own common sense and figure out how to live. Be realistic about what you want. I'll go out on a limb and say that the main health goal for 90 percent of students is to be healthy and sexy with the least work possible. That's fine, that's what I want, too.\nHere's the hard part: find out what works for you and don't lie to yourself. Take it easy. Don't spaz out and start counting calories, calculating how many miles you need to run so that you can work off that last meal and 2 pounds.\nDo find some way to move more. Take the stairs, walk/run to class. Do something physical. Don't call it "exercising." Do call it "going to play ultimate frisbee." Don't say, "I've got 27 grams of fat and 2 grams of sodium left for today." Do say, "I've eaten some meat, some veggies and some cheese today. Pineapple and a pretzel sounds like what I need." Fat is not your enemy: Don Gorske of Wisconsin has eaten at least two Big Macs and one Coke a day since 1972, and he's 6-foot and weighs 175 pounds. Not bad. And this is just some guy from Wisconsin who happens to bike a lot. Balance of food and exercise is all you really need.\nIt's worked for me; maybe it can work for you. But watch out! Don't just take what I say for granted. Do use your own brain and research to figure out what's right for you. After all, I'm not a food scientist.