'Troy' offers scintillating swords, sandals

Following on the sandaled heels of Ridley Scott's "Gladiator" (a film that single-handedly resurrected the seemingly deceased swashbuckler sub-genre -- see "The Lord of the Rings," "Pirates of the Caribbean" and the upcoming "King Arthur" for further examples), comes "Troy," director Wolfgang Peterson's reinterpretation of Homer's timeless, epic poem, "The Iliad." \nAnyone who's taken English in either high school or college is likely to have read Homer's tome, and if they expect to see it accurately represented onscreen, they have another thing coming. The tone of "Troy" is akin to melding the "Classics Illustrated" comics of one's youth with the period pieces of the 1950s and '60s (think: "Ben-Hur," "Spartacus" and "Cleopatra"), only spruced up via the four "b's" of modern Hollywood cinema - boobs, buns, blood and budget.\nBrad Pitt headlines as mythic Greek warrior, Achilles, but the heart of the film lies with Hector (a banner Eric Bana), prince of Troy. Trouble brews when Hector's younger brother, Paris (a congruously cowardly Orlando Bloom), begins banging Helen (Diane Kruger), the wife of Menelaus (irreplaceable Irish thespian, Brendan Gleeson), king of Sparta. The young queen then departs with her prince charming across the Aegean Sea to the titular, walled city. Understandably, Menelaus is pissed and enlists the help of his brother, Agamemnon (irreplaceable Irish thespian #2, Brian Cox), in retrieving his bride and toppling Troy. Fighting for the greedy Greek are Odysseus (Sean Bean) and the aforementioned Achilles, albeit begrudgingly or for self-aggrandizing purposes in the latter's case. Battles large and small ensue, culminating with the arrival of the storied Trojan horse.\nThe cast is good across the board, though, it's Bana (bettering the tour de force of Aussie import, "Chopper") and Peter O'Toole as the Trojan king, Priam, who truly shine. Admittedly, it takes a while to accept Pitt as Achilles, but once you've gotten used to the fact that it's BRAD PITT playing ACHILLES, he fills the role nicely. Achilles was a rock star in his time and place, and Pitt plays this up accordingly. Bloom plays the bitch to perfection, which begs the question -- will this guy ever have nuts onscreen outside of "LOTR?" Newcomer Kruger is pretty and gives a serviceable performance, but she's hardly the face to launch a thousand ships. Cox and Gleeson do what they do best -- they're imposing. \nDirector Peterson does an admirably workmanlike job. That's saying something, as I rarely dig the dude's flicks (the exceptions being: this, "Das Boot" and "In the Line of Fire.") The same craftsmanship can be seen in screenwriter David Benioff's (author of "25th Hour") script, which pares down "The Iliad" by relegating a majority of the story's mythological elements. In spite of its explicit sexuality and violence, "Troy" is a real throwback to the epics of yore, albeit one with its cheesier moments i.e. a knife-to-throat sex sequence that'd make Joe Eszterhas blush and a servant's line reading of "She's left with the Trojans!" (Well, let's thank Christ she's using protection.) Flaws and all, "Troy" is a real coup.