Ode to Little Five

"Little 500 is next week!" I exclaimed to a friend from back home, only to soon realize that: a. she was not excited in the slightest and b. she had no clue what Little 500 is. The fact that many good people in this country are completely unaware of Little Five is an atrocity; Little 500 should be a national holiday -- a nod to the advent of spring and physical activity. So here is a tribute to Little Five -- may it spread beyond IU, past the borders of Indiana, and into the hearts of Americans everywhere -- like Lance Armstrong who said, "I've attended Super Bowls, World Series and the Monaco Grand Prix, but the coolest event I ever attended was the Little 500."\n'Twas the week of Little 500,\nand all through IU,\nstudents slacked off and partied,\neven Kelley Kids, too;\nthe scantrons filled out, the tests had been taken,\nspring semester grades already forsaken.\nThe riders were nestled all snug in their beds,\nwhile visions of first-place wins danced in their heads,\nand students set out off-campus and downtown,\nshouting "riders can't drink, but we can get down!"\nWhen out at the track there arose such a thunder,\nstudents put down their drinks and stumbled over in wonder.\nUp North Fee or North Jordan and through the tall pines,\nJust outside Bill Armstrong in long ticket lines.\nThe weather was hot, they wore minimal clothes:\nshorts, skirts and flip-flops, with bright-colored toes;\npast a fleet of ticket collectors and the IUPD,\nwho turned down all the "I lost my ticket!" pleas\ninto the stadium, and up on the bleachers,\ncame hundreds and thousands of crimson-crazy creatures.\na voice came from above -- Little Five founder "Howdy,"\nAnd with these words, the students got rowdy:\n"Now CYCLEDELICS! Now DODD'S HOUSE! Now KIMBALL and WILLKIE!\nOn ROADRUNNERS! On ARMY! On Phi Mu and FIJI! \nTo check-in! To the tent! To the pit-you must haul!\nNow bike away! Bike away! Bike away all!"\nThe crowd rose to its feet and burst into cheers,\nfor brothers, sisters and friends who trained hard for a year, \nSome rookies, some seniors, all hyped for the race.\nTeams with titles to defend, teams with records to chase;\nfrom the pits they emerged, with bright jerseys glowing,\nthe spandex-clad riders, their bicycles towing; \neach one with the Little Five nickname they prefer,\nlike "Sparky" and "Toxic," even "Captain Bread Monster."\nOn the track they lined up, and the start they awaited,\nThe results of this year's Little Five were soon fated;\nsome riders will fall, some hopes will be dashed,\nsome disqualified, some hurt and some crashed.\nOut of it all two new winners emerge,\nand the roar of the crowd will come to a surge;\nto all the winners, the trophies awarded,\nand in Little Five history, their legacy recorded.\nBut Little 500's rewards go far past those in first place,\npride and honor goes to all those who compete in the race, \nand for all of IU the excitement and fun\nmakes Little Five the "World's Greatest College Weekend" since 1951.