Writing people off

Ever have one of those moments when your opinion of a person does a complete 180? Out of nowhere, they do or say something that doesn't quite fit the image you had of them. You may chalk it up to the fact that you don't know them intimately. At the same time, though, you may have been guilty of writing that person off of making a snap judgment based on something about them and then basing your whole perception of that person on that limited factor. It might seem harmless enough, but if you think about it, it can have some nasty implications. \nHey, I'll be honest. I'm guilty of writing people off myself. For me, I have trouble getting over my preconceptions about frat boys and sorority girls. I'm sure members of the Greek community get tired of being labeled as either big, dumb, oversexed pieces of meat who do nothing but party or as vain, snotty brats with full access to daddy's credit card. That's the image a lot of non-Greeks have of them, though, and there do seem to be a number of people whose behavior supports that stereotype.\nI've been lucky. Over time, people have trickled into my life who helped to break down those negative images. A few years ago, my best friend in the whole world, Kit, decided to rush at her school in Pennsylvania. It scares me to think that if we hadn't had a long history of friendship, upon meeting her, I might have ended up writing her off as some ditzy sorority bimbo. I could have completely disregarded this awesome girl based solely on some stupid stereotype -- and that, my friends, is a problem.\nSome of the most publicized stereotypes include race, gender, age and sexuality. They also exist for peer groups. We're all familiar with the concept of being a jock, prep, geek or goth. Even your hobbies can come with stereotypes attached -- if I say someone is a Trekkie, do you get a certain mental image of how that person might be? \nLimiting your perceptions can be a sort of self-defense mechanism. In our world, there is so much information to process and so many people to interact with that sometimes your mind will start simplifying things just to save itself from overloading and having a complete meltdown. You can't take in everything about everyone -- it's just not possible. \nHowever, relying too heavily on your preconceptions and prior experiences will end up giving you a ridiculously incomplete image of an individual. It doesn't even come close to covering the full scope of who he or she is. How many people do you know that categorize themselves as just one thing? My guess would be zero. People put serious value on their heritage, their sexuality, their interests, their talents and dozens of other factors that contribute to their personality. To limit your definition of a person to just one thing is an insult to their complexity.\nBeing conscious of your own prejudices is the key to being able to open yourself up and prove yourself wrong. I still struggle with stereotyping, but the most important thing is I am really trying to be aware of my preconceptions and deconstruct them. I still tend to make snap judgments about people, but I make a conscious effort to remind myself, "Hey, he/she may not be like that. Give him/her a chance." \nSo think about it -- what sorts of people do you typically find yourself writing off before you get to know them? Challenge yourself. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and work on breaking down those unsubstantiated preconceptions. Don't cheat yourself out of some great relationships.