We've gone 'Democrazy'

Oh, Urban Outfitters …\nYeah, I shop there sometimes … but man, that place can be so damn stupid. Like when they decided to recently stock a t-shirt that says "Voting Is For Old People."\nSigh …\nHonestly. Seriously. How could no one have raised their hand at that sales meeting and said, "You know … maybe this isn't a good idea?"\nIn an election year that is arguably the most important and hyped of our young generation, it's necessary to do everything to get people out there voting. But the little hipsters that sell "Death to Disco" T-shirts while simultaneously playing Daft Punk in their store (and never once acknowledging the irony) have decided to market faux-nihilism because … I don't know … I guess there's a market for it or something.\nJesus "The Passion of the" Christ, is voting considered uncool now? And if you're going to write me a slew of letters that say the T-shirt is supposed to be "satire"… shut up. That stuff isn't anywhere near funny. If some 13-year-old kid walks into Urban Outfitters, the mosque of pop-anti-trendy, buys that shirt and wears it, he isn't trying to be funny. And if he is he's doing a half-assed job of it.\nRemember when we were little bastards running around in flannels and torn-up jeans with our wallet chains and Nine Inch Nails T-shirts? There were hoards of us! You think that was a coincidence? Hell no! There were some old suits in the upper echelons of department stores everywhere that were like "Stone Pimple Pilots? Uh, yeah sure, whatever … it's what the kids like these days." Boom! Millions in their pocket. They sold Nirvana T-shirts at Kohl's!\nKohl's!\nClothing stores aren't places where you "just buy clothes." They are sources of identity. Just by walking into Abercrombie, buying one pair of pants and strolling through the mall with your A&F bag (you know, the one that's blue on one side and littered with naked dudes playing Frisbee at Tahoe on the other) you are offering yourself up for a consumerist stereotype that is undefeatable. Even if you're one who only shops at vintage stores and Goodwill, you are just part of the other crowd. It's a decision, and it's not a subconscious one either. We know the game and play it willingly because we've been learning the rules since we were taught that personal style makes a difference.\nSo when Urban Outfitters puts the "Voting Is For Old People" T-shirt on its racks, is the store selling us a careless image? Or is it just reflecting what the store thinks we want? That being, a T-shirt that shows how much more awesome we are for not giving a shit about the future of our democracy.\nI'd wager to say it's impossible that the latter is true. If it is, I might as well just pack up and move. I remember being a kid thinking I was rad for being an anarchist (or something) and hating the government, but I still wanted to vote (how's THAT for irony!).\nDon't be stupid and buy the shirt to be a smartass, because it isn't funny. The dollar is a ballot and you'll be voting to say, "Yes, I support marketing crap."\nSo Urban Outfitters, take that shirt off your racks and go back to what you're good at: selling over-priced "vintage" T-shirts with "Kentucky is Lucky" (or whatever the hell they say) printed on them.\nAs for me, I'll still be patronizing "Urb-Out" (it's what the cool kids call it … oh wait, no they don't) because hey … spring break is just around the corner, I need a new pair of shorts, and their clothes last.\nAnd there's something to be said about that.