Ketchup-related felony

Since changes to the Constitution are in the news, it's worth looking back at the unpredictable and sometimes downright crazy world of proposed amendments. There have been 27 actual changes but literally thousands more have been suggested. Here are just a few that didn't quite find their way into the very fabric of our government. \nThe name of our country would have been changed to the "United States of the Earth" if one amendment proposed in 1893 had caught on. That would be U.S.E. for short. "Use what?" people would have asked. "Oh right … the country." No wonder it didn't get anywhere. \nIn 1894, someone thought it would be a good idea if the Constitution acknowledged God and Jesus Christ were "the supreme authorities in human affairs." It didn't work out, but the supporters couldn't have been too disappointed because, clearly, the supreme authority in human affairs must have liked it the way it was. \nHere is a fun one -- in 1916 it was proposed all declarations of war be put to a national popular vote. There was a little catch, though. A "yes" vote would also double as volunteering for military service. Do you want a war? Great, here's your gun and there's the boat. \nThere is another recently proposed change that hasn't gotten much attention, but it could figure to be an important one in the near future. This proposed edit would allow naturalized U.S. citizens to become president -- something that is currently forbidden by the Constitution. A lot of people are suggesting Arnold Schwarzenegger might take advantage of such a change and run for president in 2008. Many more people find this prospect to be deeply disturbing -- but perhaps they could be persuaded to support this change if they could add in an article or two to prohibit Austrian bodybuilders. \nIn 1876, one ambitious amendment suggested getting rid of the Senate. Considering the Senate had to vote on this, it was probably a long shot. Two years later, someone suggested the president be replaced by a council of three. I am sure they would be surprised to know that one day, this would happen without an amendment, thanks to the hard work of Cheney, Rumsfeld and Karl Rove.\nThen there is the perennial bridesmaid of the proposed amendment world -- forbidding flag desecration. While well-intended, it seems like it would be difficult to work out the details. For example, would it just cover "real" flags made out of cloth, or would the plastic ones be protected too? Plenty of those cheap plastic ones have met their end after being carelessly placed at backyard Fourth of July barbeques. Star-spangled clothing also seems to present a gray area. Many of these wearable flags have been desecrated with condiments, spaghetti sauce or even beer. Also in question would be pictures of flags and pieces of plain white paper with "pretend this is an American flag" written on them. And for those who are really determined to desecrate a flag, but not keen on jail time, a close approximation of the American flag might work nicely as a substitute. Rumor has it that Liberia and Malaysia are a little concerned. \nOne other proposed amendment that was never adopted was one that would give Congress the power to strip the citizenship from any American who accepted a title of nobility from a foreign country. Do you suppose Mr. Universe could be considered a title of nobility?\nWhen it comes to changing the Constitution, this country definitely doesn't suffer from a shortage of creativity. As much as people would love to see a trio of action-hero presidents, maybe it's best the Constitution does such a good job of protecting itself.