Happy Singles' Awareness Day

Red roses, heart-shaped chocolate boxes, tiny candy hearts with cheesy sayings on them -- thank God Valentine's Day, love and all the mushy gushy stuff that surrounds the pointless holiday will be over in 96 hours. \nI'm not bitter about the holiday. Really. But it's always been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my love life has always come to halt on Feb. 14.\nEven in elementary school, I dreaded the class Valentine's Day parties where everyone would distribute candy hearts and drop little cartoon valentines in our homemade red shoeboxes. After school, I always rushed home to count my stash of Valentines and was let down numerous times. Even though we were forced to give Valentines to the entire class, I was probably the only first grader who analyzed her cards. Why did boys always send me cards with Tiger that said I'm "grrrrreat" when I really wanted the yellow jacket that said "beeeeee mine?"\nWhen middle school rolled around, I thought I was home free. Instead, we had those fundraisers where you could send flavored lip-shaped lollipops to someone's homeroom. I was the girl with about 15 lollipops because I sent them to myself. I didn't want to feel left out, so all of my lunch money went to stale, vanilla-flavored lollipops that sat in my locker for weeks. I'm not sure if people realized it was a little strange to have so many "secret admirers," but I felt better.\nValentine's Day in high school was just about the worst it could get because it fell on winter homecoming. Just "sending" myself a date was out of the question, and the whole thing was such a production. Find a guy. Hint around that you want to go. Find a dress. Find a couple to go with. Buy tickets. Make dinner reservations. Get your hair and makeup done. The worst case of this double whammy was my freshman year when the homecoming theme was "Court of Hearts." My date failed to get me a corsage -- the essential accessory for a romantic evening. But I handled it with the best of Valentine spirit. I chucked his beautiful white sweetheart rose boutonniere in the garbage disposal, right in front of his face. \nI guess my Valentine luck is the reason I never really get into the holiday spirit. I'll admit that when I had a boyfriend, I counted down the days until I received flowers and candy. But now, I've come to realize Feb. 14 is a painful reminder that you're alone, unattractive and probably won't have sex any time in the foreseeable future. \nThis is why I can relate to the many who have dubbed this holiday "Single's Awareness Day." Look very closely: the first letters spell SAD. Isn't that an appropriate acronym for such a holiday that brings so many people down? People act like they're joking when they say "Happy Single's Awareness Day," but they really do go celebrate -- at the bars, drinking their sorrows away. \n For everyone who loves Valentine's Day, there are probably 10 more people who hate it. The Internet is filled with anti-Valentine's Day Web sites, the bars are packed the entire weekend and everyone's away message ultimately reads "forget Valentine's Day!"\nSo this Single's Awareness Day, I suggest you avoid love and romanticism. You can accompany me on a bar crawl or spend the night out with your friends. Unless of course, you're a cute guy and want to buy me flowers and candy. Then I'll just have to change my plans.