Barbie meets the hood

White girls with microbraids and violet-eyed brothas with blonde hair -- it was like Soul Train meets TRL, right there in the middle of Wal-Mart's toy section.\nAnd if you're wondering whatever happened to Sisqo -- he's been secretly kidnapped and cloned, along with Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake.\nOr at least, that's become my theory since seeing Happy D, Kiyoni Brown, Liam, P.Bo, Tika and Tre, in standard B-boy stance, patiently waiting to be purchased by some good-intentioned soccer mom hoping to spoon feed her 10-year-old a taste of manufactured multiculturalism.\nI'm talking about Mattel's newest Barbie spin-off -- "Flavas."\nThe toy empire has decided to create a line of dolls representative of authentic hip-hop culture and style, according to Julia Jensen, vice president of public relations at Mattel, in an article for trade magazine Toy Directory.\nI guess iced-out cross pendants, cell phones and furry red Kangol look-alike hats are supposed to denote hip-hop. At the dolls' release in July, Mattel reps seemed to anticipate the Flavas crew would whip its "Street Rod" past competitors, Bratz, and right into the homes of suburban youngsters.\nI'm not so sure. Especially since the originally marked $14.64 dolls are now $5 at Wal-Mart. (The company won't spill the beans on how well the toys sold, by the way.)\nBut who could resist such "ghetto fabulous" toys, as Newsweek described them.\nMan, oh man. Hip-hop and ghetto -- one's always confused with the other.\nNonetheless, I can see why such an error might occur. Especially since the miniature Carmen Electras and Lil' Kims come with graffiti covered scenery, complete with "Fa Sizzle" spray-painted across the cardboard backdrop, \nIn fact, Happy D's only request is "Pull my street stance out from the box so I have a spot to hang out."\nNow that's just sad.\nIt's true that the original Barbie's bases lie in stereotypes, but at least she maintained a dream home, several smaller estates and a recreational vehicle, along with a horse stable and a number of pools. \nFlavas crew hangs out on a street corner.\nAnd even though Barbie might have been the Princess of Pink, the blonde bombshell proved one could get married, become a vet, conduct heart surgery and still have time to shop. \nFlavas crew, on the other hand, comes in two versions -- street and sport. Not too well-rounded, huh? That's gotta be bad for the resumé. Like it's not bad enough homegirl's name is Happy D.\nJensen described the dolls as "very clever and very true to hip-hop."\nBut it seems the only clever thing about Flavas is its marketing ploy.\nI'm annoyed because Mattel's getting away with appropriating a culture. Hip-hop sells, and companies like Mattel are pimping the culture for all its worth. \nIt's almost as bad as Ghettopoly. Just not as blatantly offensive. Flavas dolls are edgy enough to attract kids. And parents feel okay purchasing the toys because any negative connotations are sugar-coated in a "having fun with hip-hop" theme. \nI'm concerned the company might be duping parents into believing Flavas, with their variety of eye and hair colors, skin tones and facial structures, promote multiculturalism. A lesson in "hip-pop" is no substitute for interacting/learning about culture outside on one's own.\nFlavas were meant to embody hip-hop style, but instead, they oversimplify and mock a culture created as a mouthpiece for the disenfranchised. It paints hip-hop as merely a way of dress, a type of music and a mix of slang. And because hip-hop is so closely tied to black and Latino culture, Flavas perpetuate stereotypes of stunted intellectual capacity and inferiority among minorities. \nIn my opinion, when a category like hip-hop has racial implications, misrepresentation of the culture, even through toys, extends far past the boundaries of child's play.