Angry black women

Hey, MTV, I can't be your angry black woman.\nI know "The Mole" has Rudy (Keisha Knight-Pulliam), "Top Models" has Camille and "The Apprentice" has Omarosa. But sorry, I just can't help ya'll compete for ratings.\nAt first, I was confused about which of your shows wanted to feature me. The past couple days tempted me to believe I might be on MTV's "Boiling Points." (The show attempts to push unsuspecting guinea pigs to the brink of fury and rewards those who remain calm during the allotted time frame.) After the past week's events -- the salesman who walked around with my shoe for 10 minutes while he helped other customers, the chick in the bookstore parking lot who decided to engage my car in a nonconsensual game of Chicken, and Ms. Attitude, the Neurotic, whose demeanor bordered on hostile when she wrongly assumed I'd deleted some of her work from a computer we shared -- I remained calm waiting for the hidden cameras to be revealed. I even began mentally spending the $100 reward money.\nBut it seems my avoidance of verbal fisticuffs, four-letter-word fury and tongue-lashings-with-the-intent-to-maim may have been done in vain. Because the more I think about things, the more I'm beginning to believe I'm actually part of a Real World casting experiment. You MTV guys are looking for a new angry black woman to follow in the footsteps of "Real World" Las Vegas -- Arissa, Seattle -- Kameelah, Los Angeles -- Tami and the infamous, still in action, New York -- Coral. \nYou remembered me from last summer's Chicago casting call, fell in love with the "Blasian Sensation" trucker hat and now you've sent out a street team whose sole purpose is to put me in compromising situations. But I'm sorry -- you won't uncover the finger-wagging, neck-popping, eye-rolling, disgruntled -- homegirl reality shows are infamous for.\nI must admit, the MTV casting conspiracy might be a figment of my imagination. But the angry black woman as a reality TV staple? That's real.\nI just read J. Danielle Daniel's article about reality TV's portrayal of the "EBW™." EBW, by the way, stands for "Evil Black Woman." It's a phrase the writer uses to describe "Top Model's" Camille. Sista-girl is intelligent, experienced in her field and confident (quite possibly to a fault). And much like other individuals who've been dubbed "angry black woman" or EBW, Camille doesn't run from confrontation. She's not afraid to go head-to-head in a war of the words. In fact she might be the first to pull a weapon some call the angry black woman's deadliest -- her mouth. \nIf strength, confidence and credibility represent the best in the EBW, why does the title offend me?\nI can only answer by saying: for the same reason I didn't finish off the absent-minded shoe salesman, careless driver or rude co-worker with a quick cursing out.\nThe EBW is a persona -- not a person. For as much as she is respected, she is vilified. She represents only a fraction of the black female consciousness and even less of the black female population as a whole. Reality TV's angry black woman is merely a product of selective studio editing.\nFor the purposes of keeping it real, I'll admit, the angry black woman persona can be rather compelling to viewers. In fact, my girl, Coral's the only reason I watched MTV's "10 Spot." I valued her opinionated and strong personality. But I'm concerned folks might begin to buy into such a stunted and narrow view of what it means to be a black woman.\nAnd just in case MTV really is trying to bring out the angry in me, I'm going to flip the script and give them the intelligent, confident and calm black woman instead.