A clean, fresh choice

I wipe away the eye crust that has formed at the corner of my eyes and turn on what I hope is hot water. \nThe Super Bowl is in four days, and I haven't decided who my horse is, yet. \nNope, no hot water. It's as cold as the snow that has held my car hostage for three days. I huddle in the corner waiting for the water to warm -- which it eventually does.\nAs the water beats down on my head, I question whether or not Carolina quarterback, Jake Delhomme, will be able to handle the constant blitzes the New England defense deploys. I shake my head remembering what happened to the league's Co-MVP Peyton Manning just a week and a half earlier. \nI reached for Mr. Quackers, my beloved duck-themed body glove, gave him some liquid Dial soap with moisturizer and came to the conclusion I do believe Delhomme will do just fine against the Patriot's blitz. I remember the defense of Jim Johnson and the Philadelphia Eagles and its renowned blitzing scheme during the NFC Championship game. No sacks and/or interceptions befell the underdog Panthers. \nMr. Quackers is returned to his humble hook as I suspend the cleaning process and dive deep into thought.\nNew England has won its last 14 games and seems invincible with a swarming defense flustering even the greatest offensive minds. Efficient on offense with Tom Brady at the helm, the Patriots seem to be able to march down the field with screen passes and two-yard runs. The AFC Championship game against the Colts marked just the second time all season a Patriots running back has eclipsed the 100-yard plateau. \nThe Patriots' counterpart, Panthers star Stephen Davis, has surpassed the century mark on nine occasions this year, despite suffering injuries and being left for dead by offensive genius Steve Spurrier.\nAs I feel the water beginning to cool, I snap out of my trance and reach for my medicated apricot scrub facial wash.\nThe Panthers have better running backs and better receivers with Mushin Muhammad and Steve Smith and have a defense just as stingy as New England's. The Panthers have arguably the best front four in football, led by Pro Bowlers Kris Jenkins and Mike Rucker, and showed their offense's explosive ability against the Rams in the Divisional playoffs. So how can New England be favored by a touchdown, I wonder?\nSome of the scrub has made its way into my ear, I tilt my head and struggle to free myself from the discomfort having sand in one's ear creates. My lips begin to move and the words to Steve Winwood's "Higher Love" escape. \nI guess the oddsmakers look to the Patriots 2002 Super Bowl crown and the job New England head coach Bill Belichick has done battling an abundance of injuries. The Patriots secondary is loaded, with two defenders being the best in the league at their respective position. Cornerback Ty Law proved against Indianapolis with his three interceptions that he belongs among the top echelon of corners and safety Rodney Harrison hits harder than any other safety in the game. \nI survey my options. There's a problem with having two different types of shampoo; you have to make that tough decision. Do I choose Dove with the shampoo and conditioner in one or Suave with the intoxicating aroma of an ocean breeze? \nTwo teams, Carolina and New England. So similar, both offensively and defensively. They beat teams the same way, run the ball, play tough D and create turnovers. So what's the X-factor? What will tip the scales in either team's favor? \nI have no clue. I designate the Dove for the Patriots and the Suave represents the Panthers. I close my eyes, spin around a few times and reach for the shampoo. My hand grazes a bottle, I grasp it and open my eyes to the revelation I've chosen my roommate's Pert Plus. \nNo winner? I guess that's what they call a wash.