No-nonsense schedule help

By the time you read this, I may or may not currently be in police custody pleading insanity to a string of completely unrelated crimes.\nNo, I'm not talking about receiving eight -- yes, that's right, the very same eight that is two less than 10 -- basketball tickets. I am actually supposed to be registering for classes this week. \nI, for one, was shocked to discover this. I always know in the back of my mind that I have to register sometime soon. But procrastination has a profound capability to violently bring back-of-the-mind thoughts to the forefront. \nAccording to an unreliable source known only as "The Office of the Registrar," I received an e-mail almost a month ago reminding me. And sure enough, when I checked my old mail, it was there; although I still contend the subject-line "Add 3 inches to your schedule!" was a bit misleading.\nThe whole process can be hectic. Aside from figuring out what you're doing this weekend, this could be the most important decision you make all semester. So I'm offering the Condensed, No-Nonsense Scheduling Help Guide.\n• Classes -- Are they worth it? A recent study conducted by the Institute of You Want Money After College says, "Yes." The decision to register for classes then is the logical first step. The next step then is to ask yourself:\n• What kinds of classes should I take? Obviously you'll want to take classes which are required for your major, unless those classes start before 9 a.m. or are on Fridays, in which case you should consider changing your major. \nFriday classes in particular are becoming very unpopular. This is mostly because the faculty is just now realizing what students have known for years: the fewer days you have to go to class, the better.\n• How can I choose my classes? There are a number of ways. The old traditional way involves throwing open the semester schedule booklet and randomly pointing. The more technological way involves a computer database provided by IU called INSITE, which allows you to search for course descriptions provided you can figure out which seven minutes of the day INSITE is actually open.\n• What other factors should I take into consideration? There are four specific prongs. Location: How far will you walk between classes? Time: Will your classes conflict with each other? Quantity: How many classes will you have on each day of the week? Class size: Will your professor notice if you're not there?\n• How do I find good professors? Ask other students what they've heard. If you're unfamiliar with a professor, you can always check their personal Web site. Find out where they went to school, what they've published, and whether they write things like, "I is an English professor."\n• Who can help me? You can seek help from your academic advisers, who will assist you with finding those classes you still need to take. They also are known to say reassuring things such as, "I see no reason why you can't make it out of here in four years! (pause) Ha, ha! Wait until I tell the other advisers that one!"\n• Am I ready to register? Yes. All you have to do now is log in during your scheduled registration appointment, and search for the classes you have chosen to take.\n• Hey, what gives? The classes I want are full! Well, of course they are. You didn't think this was going to be simple, did you?