Trick-or-treat-and-vote

I think we've reached the point as a mature and civil society when we can start being a bit more selective with holidays and observances.\nI'm well aware there are many people, including the evil and powerful greeting card lobby, who thrive on all the estimated 20,000 reasons we as a nation have to send a card. And I encourage them to contact me via the greeting card I'm sure they have for this occasion ("We are sorry to hear that, perhaps, You want our industry to collapse").\nNevertheless, I am going to pursue this point until something is done about it. We must prioritize some of these holidays. And since the season is upon us, I think we should start with Halloween and Election Day.\nDon't get me wrong. I like these days. One is, of course, a day mandated by the U.S. Constitution, while the other is a very important day when we choose our next leaders. So let it not be unsaid that I enjoy these days very much and recommend we not get rid of them. Instead, we should just merge them together for convenience. We'll call it Electoween.\nBoth days are incredibly similar, anyway. Consider the facts: they both involve "parties" and occasionally the use of the phrase, "Wait, I thought he was dead;" they encourage and reward greed; per capita, more souls are sold on these two days than the other days combined; and the person with the best costume and mask wins.\nBut the largest similarity has to be the door-to-door solicitations. This is the backbone of these holidays. Halloween is about kids coming to your door and begging you to give them candy.\n(Door opens) Kids: Trick-or-treat!\nElection Day is almost the exact same, but it's about grown-ups coming to your door, and instead of candy, they want your vote.\n(Door opens) Candidate: Hi, I'm running for mayor, and I'd appreciate it if … \n(Door slams shut)\nAnother good reason for a merger is the fact that some people must think they can't participate in both Halloween and Election Day because they're on separate days. I'm looking in your direction, ages 18-to-24 demographic.\nThe U.S. Census Bureau reported just 32 percent of 18-to-24-year-olds voted in the 2000 election. Not surprising, I know. But, in a recent survey by the National Retail Foundation that was released this week, 57 percent of that same age bracket plan to dress up for Halloween and nearly half will be attending a Halloween party.\nAnd what about these costumes? I'll let Robby Ehlert tell you about them. He's the manager of Frank's, a popular tavern in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood. \n"A lot of the costumes are, uhhh, not costumes kids would wear," he told the Associated Press (Oct. 27). "You'll see sexy cops, sexy pirates -- anything sexy basically."\nI guess people our age get so burnt out from all those sexy pirates that they don't have the strength to make it out to voting precincts days later.\nSomeday we'll combine them for one big day of fun. On the day you can do your civic duty by voting, that night you can party so hard you forget you actually did something beneficial just hours earlier. \nBut as of now, events will probably go unchanged this year. So enjoy your Halloween weekend, which I will remind you is completely separate from Election Day on Nov. 4. \nSo don't forget to vote. Because who knows what creepy thing going bump in the night will come ringing your doorbell if you don't.