Rock and roll's praying mantises

Dave Matthews, John Mayer and the guy from Dashboard Confessional are three guys I want to punch in the face. Just like all rock stars, these guys want to get laid; however, their ability to disguise what they're after is at least impressive. They veil their intentions in the passive sounds of jam bands and coffeehouse babble. About 97 percent of Dave's songs (I reserve the right to call him by his first name because everybody else seems to) are about either trying to romance a girl into the bedroom or the actual act of coitus itself. Now, if AC/DC writes a song like that, which they most certainly have, it's seen as crude, vulgar and all sort of other words that I love. \nBut NO, Dave is sweet and sensitive. \nMayer writes lines like, "You're body is a wonderland." Somehow this hack is able to hide his obvious objectification of women through faux romantic trickery and boy-next-door looks. Chris Carrabba (the guy from Dashboard Confessional) just whines a lot. He is convincing everybody that all he needs is a girl to hold him and tell him everything will be okay. \nIs his life that terrible while he attempts to hold his mountains of cash in one arm and catch all of the swooning girls in the other arm? \nThey are the politicians of popular music. They use twisted words and favorable contexts to make women think they are desirable, sensitive men. They are, in fact, no different in intention than their rock and roll counterparts.\nElvis' hip-shaking rock and roll is very different from Mayer, Matthews and Carrabba, not in intention but in character. Whether the lyrics are sexual, rock and roll is always actually about having sex. That's just part of being rock and roll. Rock musicians know this. This is honest music. Maybe the words are disguised, but everyone knows what Jagger needs to be satisfied. I can imagine Vince Neil looking a girl straight in the eye, and saying, "Let's screw, and be quick about because you're holding up the line."\nThe Mayer, Matthews and the Guy From trio are far more dangerous than a Chuck Berry. Chuck directly says, "I want you play with my ding-a-ling." The crafty trio, like the praying mantis, will lull its prey (ladies) into a false sense of security. They are the Sirens of the Top 40, and their target audience is young women (not sailors). Their lyrics, musical contexts or both give a false impression that they are real gentlemen, different from those cheating, vulgar, insensitive boyfriends of the past. All the while, real rock and roll will at least be straightforward. The words of Andrew WK cannot be misunderstood. When he says, "I do what I like, and I like you," his meaning is certainly communicated.\nI see what these three guys are up to. Although I don't like their music at all and I think their approach is unethical, they are trying to live out rock and roll fantasies just like Jagger, Neil or WK. \nMatthews, Mayer and the Guy From are all going to succeed with the ladies for a while; however, they cannot just think about what their target audience wants to hear. \nThese three need to think about the expectation they have set for themselves. Their target audience thinks they are actually the men they have falsely projected to be. The trio has devoted followings of girls that want to be their girlfriends. Upon thinking a bit deeper on that subject, maybe I should feel sorry for them. These entertainers look out from a stage and see thousands upon thousands of girls that want to be the girlfriend of Mayer, Matthews and the Guy From, not their concupiscent conquest. This could be a neglected section for Dante. If these three would have tried a different approach they could have a bunch of girls that just want to have sex with them. Not to mention, their music would have been much better. \nWell maybe. \nSo, singer-songwriter nothingness like this will get you girls that want to be your girlfriend; conversely, real rock and roll will get you laid. It is that simple. This is the kind of sex people dream about, where all other parties involved realize that they shouldn't wait around for breakfast. They should just go home when everything is through. \nNo girl had sex with Elvis and afterwords asked to meet his mother.