Talking and walking

A poll of New Jersey voters found that 84 percent of cellular telephone owners back a state ban on the use of hand-held phones while driving, even though 42 percent admitted using their cell phones while driving themselves (Reuters, Sept. 25). Their position, though logically inconsistent, may seem sensible to many of us. But if talking while driving is banned, what will they do? \nI have the perfect solution: talking while walking.\nThe advantages of talking on one's cell phone while walking are many and sundry, particularly for students who talk between classes. Safety, the concern behind laws prohibiting the use of cell phones while driving, is an obvious one. Even if two people talking while walking do collide, the resulting tumble will probably be more comic than tragic. Besides, studies have shown that people who talk on their cell phones while walking between class are much less likely to get in car accidents than people who talk while driving.\nThen there's the peer pressure factor: talking on your cell phone while walking between class seems to be the cool thing to do. To test this hypothesis, I conducted the following unscientific study. One day while walking in between Woodburn and Ballantine, I unscientifically counted 20 people who were talking on their cell phones, unscientifically (there was one guy talking on his cell phone about mitochondria, but I didn't count him). My stunning conclusion? Lots of people do indeed talk on their cell phones while walking to or from class.\nWith such groundbreaking research behind me, I'm sure I have a bright future ahead of me working for those people who periodically come out with studies proving that lots of college students drink.\nSocially, the necessarily limited length of between-class cell phone conversations has its advantages as well. A friend of mine confessed that she calls people she doesn't really want to talk to in between class so that after a brief chat she can honestly say she has to go.\nPerhaps on a related note, I'm sure many students take advantage of cheap long-distance cell phone plans to talk to their parents between class. The touching display of family intimacy made possible by technology reminds me of a cell phone advertisement I saw in Europe that featured Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi and the words, loosely translated, "what connects us." You may think you love your parents, but always remember that it's really your cell phone that connects you to them.\nBut let's not forget the trademark benefits of cell phone use, such as cost effectiveness and availability for emergencies. Clearly, you're not wasting money on your old-fashioned land phone when you're spending money to talk on your cell phone between classes. As for emergencies, if I lapse into a coma or get a flat tire while walking to class, I know I'll be able to use a cell phone to call for help.\nI suspect that one of the major topics of conversation for students who talk on their cell phones between class must be the subject matter of the classes themselves. Sometimes class is so intellectually stimulating that you're simply bursting at the seams to share your new-found knowledge with others. This explains why I've overheard so many cell phone conversations that start something like this:\n"Oh my gosh, you are never going to believe what I just learned about the Peace of Augsburg ..."\nTalking on your cell phone between class: it's safe, popular, social, frugal and intellectual. Once you start, you'll never go back to admiring the scenery again.