Luke Wilson, what the hell happened?

Luke Wilson comes across as a generally nice fellow onscreen. Usually, he portrays the affable everyman, and that's most assuredly part of his appeal. Dudes relate to him and chicks want to have relations with him. \n I like a lot of Wilson's work. "Bottle Rocket" is an underrated comic masterpiece. His extended cameo in "Rushmore" made for one of that flick's funnier bits. And he recently struck gold with back-to-back hits in the form of "The Royal Tenenbaums" and "Old School," the first of which is arguably his best film and performance to date. \n Though, a question lingers; what the hell is Wilson doing co-starring alongside the likes of Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz and Reese Witherspoon in an onslaught of this summer's\ncrappiest chick flicks?\n I can't entirely blame the guy. To be paid mad bank for doing little more than hanging out with a horde of Hollywood hotties would be a spot better than alright. But to look at the flip side of things, shouldn't one put more stock in performance than profit and poontang? As is, he's window dressing, which is unfortunate, as the guy has shown the potential to do so much more in past roles. \n Wilson's first abomination came via director Rob Reiner's critically maligned, menstruation magnum opus, "Alex and Emma." In signing onto such drivel he made not one, but numerous mistakes. \n First off, working with Reiner is a mistake in and of itself. I'm old enough to remember the days in which Meathead actually made decent flicks. "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Sure Thing," "Stand By Me," "The Princess Bride," "When Harry Met Sally," "Misery" and "A Few Good Men" are all damned entertaining. "Alex and Emma" looks as though it's striving for "North" and "The Story of Us" territory -- a place that Wilson, Reiner and astute audiences should all avoid like a truck stop toilet seat.\n Secondly, who wants to play second fiddle to Goldie Hawn's spawn (i.e. Hudson). The "Laugh-In" queen sucks enough in her own right, and the fruit of her loins fares little better. She was great in "Almost Famous," but everything else she touches turns to shit -- look no further than "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" for evidence.\n Lastly, and most obviously, movies that center around writing and/or an author struggling to pen his or her latest work almost always suck ("Adaptation" being the sole exception that comes to mind).\n Wilson suffered just as badly in "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde" (perhaps this summer's lamest cinematic moniker) and "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" (surely, a close second). In "Blonde," Wilson had less screen time than Sally Field's wrinkly, old kisser and that godforsaken Chihuahua of Witherspoon's (Lord willing, some genius will pit that mutt against the utterly obnoxious Taco Bell varmint in a Tijuana-based, no-holds-barred dog fight -- the winner gets shot). And "Full Throttle" jettisoned the poor bastard with a character arch that extended so far as his time-tested aw shucks shtick and whether or not he and Diaz's character would get a puppy (sorry for the earth shattering spoiler, folks).\n Sadly, things are not looking up. Despite co-starring with Bob Dylan in "Masked and Anonymous," a flick that Mr. Tambourine Man not only acts in, but also scored (a promising scenario if I ever heard one) -- the movie was torn asunder by critics who screened it at this year's Sundance Film Festival. The only film to get worse festival-spurred buzz is Vincent Gallo's "The Brown Bunny," which many of my critical constituents have called the death rattle of the prestigious Cannes Film Festival. At least Gallo (who also lensed and co-wrote the truly magnificent "Buffalo '66") has motorcycles and fellatio in his picture - things certain to entertain me.\n My advice to Wilson would be to fire his agent and hire me. I'll set "Old School 2" into motion faster than B-'Ffleck and J-Lo's marriage will disintegrate. Perhaps the aging fratties could vacation in Hawaii together ala "Saved by the Bell." Or better yet, the whole movie could be a series of repetitious montages in which the boys turn water cooler conversations into spontaneous beer blasts. It would be a move on par with Andrew McCarthy doing "Weekend at Bernie's II," and look how well his career turned out.\n More importantly, Wilson needs to get cast in Wes Anderson's upcoming "The Life Aquatic" -- I don't care who he needs to blow. Wilson does his best work with the "Tenenbaums" auteur. Being an extra (or even the Best Boy for that matter) in an Anderson pic would surely beat the crap out of grasping ahold to the current It Girl's miniskirt hems. \n I like the guy; I just wish he'd plunk his head from his ass and make more movies worthy of his talent.