What a dude wants

The world we're living in right now is certainly a ridiculous one. Soldiers -- men, women, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and even children (If you can't legally have a drink here in the great, old U.S. of A, you're still a child in my book.) are fighting a commerce fueled war in Iraq, and for what? So we can sit on our fat, predominantly ignorant, all-American rumps watching stupefyingly bad reality television and pinning hopes on cheaper prices at the gas pump.\nDriving around Bloomington even has social/political ramifications these days. I drive past protests in the square as hippies both young and old sport placards suggesting I honk if I'm against the war. I'm not for the war, and I'm not entirely against it either. But I'd be far more inclined to chime in with the sound of my horn if those signs read, "Honk if you're horny." This is college after all. Shouldn't we be making love as opposed to war? \nThis insanity even permeates into popular culture. The new Amanda Bynes teenybopper vehicle, "What a Girl Wants," had its poster altered at the last minute because the young starlet was flashing the peace symbol. Warner Bros. (the studio releasing the aforementioned tripe) feared that some might interpret the ad as an anti-war statement. First off, when the advertised film is unlikely to be of any merit, let alone making some sort of sociopolitical commentary, why sweat some stupid poster? Sadly, the studio's fear may be legitimate.\nJust look at the media thrashing documentarian Michael Moore has taken as of late. So the guy said some things that don't exactly gel with popular convention. Need he be booed off stage and incessantly harangued in print, radio and television? No. Those of us possessing half a brain should have realized that this is exactly what Moore was going to do. The man has made a career out of being ultra left-wing. Just because he didn't French kiss Halle Berry or make shout-outs to his boys in Baghdad, should he really be ostracized? \n"Bowling for Columbine" is not only the most liberal film of last year, but also the best. Moore deserved his accolade, and had every right to say whatever it is he wanted on that podium. After all, our soldiers are fighting to preserve the American way worldwide -- what's more American than freedom of speech? Should these freedoms only be extended to those saying things likely to appease the consensus? It's not as though Moore's tirade was broadcast on Al-Jazeera. He needn't fear being anally branded via a hot poker brandished by Saddam himself. \nIn this haze of war-spurred ultra-sensitivity, many are turning their backs to the very things that make this country so great.\nFat documentarians and air-headed, silver screen nymphets aren't the only ones taking the heat. Musicians ranging from Bloomington's very own John Mellencamp to the Beastie Boys have taken flack for producing anti-war songs. These fellas have entertained us for years -- why can't we reciprocate by listening to whatever it is they have to say for several minutes without bitching? Pearl Jam fans staged a walkout at a recent show in protest of lead singer Eddie Vedder's anti-Bush and anti-war sentiments. Why pay thirty bucks to simply walk out? Wouldn't it make more sense to bail on the dentist's office or math class? This dude had quite the beef with Ticketmaster a few years back, and fans seem to think he'll simply sit back and remain mum about Bush's somewhat dubious war plans. I think not. Meg Ryan's recently shelved, female-oriented boxing flick, "Against the Ropes" was delayed because Paramount didn't know how to properly market the film amid war. Just release the thing, and speed-up its inevitable placement in video store discount bin obscurity. \nSo, in a nutshell, what this dude wants is for stateside Americans on a whole to grow some stones, and let your fellow man speak, record or advertise without fear of social leprosy. Clichéd as this might sound, I want our troops to return home safely and as soon as possible, and for this war to run its course and be done with, just not at the cost of our civil liberties. If I want to drive down the strip in a gas-guzzling SUV adorned with American flags, while smoking a cigarette and blasting Outkast's "Bombs Over Baghdad" or get a tattoo of a smiling Saddam Hussein replete with mortar board on my right butt cheek, let me do so.